Post by Lady Hammer on Nov 7, 2007 19:05:14 GMT -5
10: Physical Reality
Have you ever fought with yourself until you came to a resolution solely because it would never end with a mutual understanding by all parts of your mind? Usually, I can never achieve that, because then I start fighting with myself about the reasons why my mind can’t get along with itself. In the end, I wind up right back where I started. Especially then, standing with Mynx in the courtyard. In the end, it didn’t even matter.
Gabriella had died.
Mynx could breathe life into her a hundred times, but it would never change that. Gabriella had seen the end. What was it like for her? Did she, too, have strange people in her head that debated creating a second chance for her? Was she living another mundane life like I had when I was in my coma? Or had her soul already found itself a newborn host? Or a newly reborn host? I then wondered… if she was reborn, what kind of person would harbor Gabriella’s body? So many questions… my head was getting ready to split, I was sure.
“I can’t make that decision,” I said finally. Mynx’s eyes stared at me instantly, the kind of stare that you can never decipher. “If she’s meant to die, she’s meant to die, and if she’s mean to live, then she’s meant to live. I can’t bear that decision. I can’t play Fate.” What the hell was I saying? Did I even believe in that statement? Then, obviously disappointed in me, Mynx turned away, his tail flicking before he leapt away from me, taking off into the orchard. Leaving me. Had I let him down?
I seemed to make mistake after mistake, even if my choices seemed to be ethically ‘right’. I looked into the sky; dusk. It was getting chilly outside, and in the barren outskirts of Davrkton, chilly could very well promise snow. At that point, I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful to Aleth for bringing me to the convoy, or disturbed. Mynx confused me and scared me at the same time, and I might even have some hatred mixed in there somewhere; Eidolon was a sweetheart, so I didn’t mind her at all; Ryou… I couldn’t say much about him. I didn’t know enough. I was craving to know more, about him and the convoy altogether. Why was I so important to these people?
“Tizzy?” Eidi’s sweet voice met my ears. I turned to see her behind me, at the complex’s back door. She gave me the sorrowful smile that you give someone when they’re mourning, and I only wish that that was the reason I had come to Gabriella’s body in the first place. “Talana says that you can visit your brother now. Would you like me to take you there?”
“Yes! Please.” Not only was I dying to meet this Talana person, but I missed Aleth, and I was worried sick about him. I unfortunately had to see what happened to someone when they come in contact with an ardok. My eyes wandered to Gabriella’s body again. If I lost Aleth, though, I don’t know what I’d do. I followed the apparition down a dirty, candlelit hallway and down a flight of stairs hidden behind wall panels. We were then underground. I knew it. I knew the ground-level building was just a ruse! There was no way the convoy would choose to hide out in such an obvious place that close to Sandroya!
The walk down the underground hall was long and dark. We were in more of a tunnel, actually, all brick, and a damp musty scent dripped from the walls. My heart beat in anticipation of seeing my brother. God, how I hoped he was okay. The loss of Gabriella had me sort of stunned, and every time I pictured her in my mind, a blanket of snow covered my body. It wasn’t fair. I should’ve died. I would’ve been okay. Even after her death, it seemed that I would live on. But not her… not Gabriella. Icy flakes were beginning to fall on me again.
Finally, we went up a flight of stairs and came outside, back into Massingberd Forest, and low and behold, a small cottage was lying in a clearing. My heart skipped a beat – that was all too familiar.
“Talana lives right up here. She has issues with Louvittah, so she doesn’t live under the same roof as us.” My breath was short as I approached the door. “I’ll go back to the Home and let you have your privacy with each other. I’ll see you later tonight, Tizzy.” The air carried her back to the staircase, hidden beneath a trapdoor and some brush. I was alone again. Eidi was letting me fend for myself with this new woman I was to meet.
But things seemed too familiar. I didn’t feel as alone as I thought. As I stood there, staring at the wood and stucco cottage, my breath came out in quick white puffs, and the trees and purple dusk closed in on me. My hand at last touched the cold doorknob.
“T-… Talana?”
“Door’s open, dear.” A chill ran down my spine like a wave crashing into me, and before I knew it, I had turned the knob and pushed open the door. There she was, staring right back at me. There she was, inside my head and down my back at the same time.
“Tal?” Those delicate lips of hers turned into a smile as she took a sip of her tea.
“It seems like you already know who I am. You must be Tizzy.” Everything I had ever seen inside Talora’s little tree-home was right there in front of me, in the Physical Realm, no longer plaguing my own Mental Planes. Everything, right down to her little fire pit and tea kettle, and the little bed with a forest green comforter. This time, I wasn’t her patient, but Aleth was, and fortunately, he wasn’t conscious to witness the rant that I was building up inside of me.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, glowering. Once again, she flashed me innocence.
“What do you mean? I’m caring for your brother, Tizzy.” I grumbled and clenched my fists.
“Talora—”
“Ah-ah-ah!” The woman, ‘Talana’, waved her finger at me like a sugar-sweet mother to her child, grinning, this time something other than kidlike playfulness in her expression. “We have a rule, Tizena, down here on the Physical Plane, just like we do on the Mental, Astral, and Ethereal. We go only by the name given to us in each of the realms!” I was burning with anger inside.
“Fine, Tal! Tell me what’s going on! Tell me what you’ve been doing inside my head for all these years! Last time I checked, you were some figment of my imagination!” No, no, no, my temper was getting ahead of me again…
“No Tizzy, I’m quite real. Many pieces of your mind are much more real than you give them credit for.” My head was racing, trying to come up with explanations, reasons, anything. If she had been real this whole time, that meant that someone who was just as real had to be in charge of these ‘decisions’ to keep me alive. “You’re thinking in too small of a picture frame.” It meant that someone was playing Fate. With my life. “My only purpose is to make sure that physically and mentally, you’re okay. If I could only nurse your subconscious back to health, your body would be extremely vulnerable. Unfortunately, that can’t be replaced.” For a long time, too long, someone had been toying with me. Using me. Playing me like a damn pawn in a chess game.
“Shut up,” I told her, narrowing my eyes. She winced. “You don’t care what happens to me. This is all just a game.”
“Tizzy, you don’t understand—”
“No, the problem is that I do understand. I see what’s going on, and that wasn’t in the plans, was it? I’m done with this, Tal. I’m not playing games anymore.” Suddenly, Aleth stirred in his rest. ‘Talana’ glanced at him quickly, and then got to her feet.
“You listen to me!” she whispered, jabbing her finger into my chest. “You don’t see anything! I’m trying to help you, Tizzy!”
“Then help me out by telling me who the hell started all of this!” I whispered back. She stared at me, her red eyes watering and her pale skin flushing. Then, biting her lip, she sighed and looked away.
“I can’t…” I had a feeling she would let me down like that. Everyone was the same. Exactly the same.
“Fine. I’m taking you out first, and when I find the ones in charge of this little game, I’ll be sure to tell them about your undying allegiance before I kill them, too.” Was I really planning that? Was I really saying it? ‘Talana’ – hell, I might as well just call her Talora – gave me a wide-eyed stare and licked her lips. She was shorter than she appeared in my mind, which wasn’t helping to alleviate my temper.
“No! Tizzy, you don’t understand! I’m on your side! But it’s harder than you think to explain things!” I folded my arms. Maybe she deserved at least the chance to defend herself. “I’m just doing what I’m told! If… if I just up and told you who was doing these things to you, who you believe to be leading you on, it would be obvious that someone told you! I know you, Tizzy, don’t forget that! We’ve known each other for years! Hell, I’ve been living in your mind, for crying out loud! I know how you are – if I told you everything you want to know right now, you would march right up to Sandroya, pissed as could be, and slaughter everyone!
“They would know someone told you! And because they know of our connection, how much we’ve bonded, they would know it was me, and… since I’m not of much use to them, they would kill me.”
“So all of this toil I’m going through is just to save your own ass?” She sighed and grumbled, heading over to her tea kettle.
“It’s not like that, and you know it.” That didn’t make me any happier though. How the hell did she expect me to react?
“Still. You said my fanclub was in Sandroya, huh?” That caught Talora off guard, and she gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. The good thing about her was that it was nearly impossible for her to keep a secret when she knew someone was trying to figure it out. She had a nasty habit of ‘accidentally’ dropping hints. Huge ones.
“I… I didn’t say that. When did I say that?”
“It was all I needed to know. Thanks Tal!” I took one last look at Aleth before turning and leaving. Oddly reminiscent of what I was always doing to my mind.
By the time I reached the convoy’s complex, it was nightfall. I had gone around in constant circles with my thoughts, ending up nowhere, like I usually did. Thinking shouldn’t be nearly as hard, but it was, and I hated it. I was coming through the back door that Eidolon had left open for me, and was on my way to find the little ghost to help me find some sustenance perhaps, when I heard a familiar voice. It threw all wandering thoughts off track even more than they previously were, so much so that I completely forgot most of what had been on my mind in the first place.
“Hopefully, she won’t complicate things more than they already are.”
I winced. It was Lilu.
“Don’t be stupid. There’s no stopping further complication.”
Another female. Deeper voice, older…
“If all you plan to do is whine, Lilu, perhaps you should leave like Talana did.”
A strong male’s voice. No doubt he was the alpha of the convoy. When he said the name 'Talana’, the other woman scoffed and snorted. Perhaps that was the ‘Louvittah’ person that Eidolon had told me about.
“I’m just trying to say that complications would be a nuisance right now. The least we could do is keep Aleth where he is so he stays out of the picture. Without him, she’s nothing.” My eyes narrowed. Lilu, that little bitch. “He did screw with our plans after all, didn’t he?”
“Maybe you’ve got a point there, Lilu,” the woman said. Sounds of Lilu trying to hold in a haughty giggle could be made out. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, though… my heart was pounding so fast. I needed to go somewhere to collect myself, and I needed to go there fast. The three of them were wandering off, and my stomach was growling. Fortunately, I found the kitchen with little effort, and in their cold storage was a head of lettuce. It was going to seem awful rabbit-like of me, but I was going to eat it. I was hungry for the first time in days, and something crisp and cold was unusually appetizing. Quickly, I grabbed the nearest knife and chopped it up, drizzled it with some vinegar, and began to plan my innocent front.
I planned to run into Lilu and the other two in the dining area as I was just naively munching away. In no way was I listening in on them! No! Of course not! But, my plan worked, at least a little bit. Lilu was nowhere to be found, but the other two walked in on me as I was shoveling away my meal. I almost didn’t pay them any heed, the food was so good, but the two brought a startling presence into the room that couldn’t be ignored.
The man was frightening, even more alpha in looks than his voice let on. His face was jagged and scarred, and his skin hung off of his skull like a soggy paper bag. He had deep set eyes that seemed to glare constantly. And the woman, hell she scared me more than the man. Her face was pointy and heart-shaped, pointy being everything from her nose, chin, and cheekbones to even her collarbone and shoulders. She looked like an exceptionally vile thing, with a full-lipped grin that was there only to make fun of you. That, and her hair was thin and short, and honestly kind of ugly. Hag-like, maybe even.
“What the hell is this?” the man asked, staring incredulously at me, the whites of his eyes unbearably bright. He didn’t need to be so rude about it.
“It’s a salad. There might be another head of lettuce left. You want me to make you one?” I asked. They weren’t amused.
“Shouldn’t you be doing something more productive? I expected you to be spending more time with Mynx,” the woman said. I shrugged.
“I got hungry. Can’t survive off of air and dust.”
“Has Eidolon at least given you a room?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m situated. Just taking care of mundane things.” They sighed, obviously displeased. I didn’t care – I had better things to be bothered with. Things were complicated because of me, I wouldn’t lie, and they angered me, but by now I was more curious than anything else. I half thought that Aleth was in on the shit Talora was, and I had no doubt in my mind that Lilu was, too. Why else would she have gotten so pissed at Aleth for changing the plan to take me to Sandroya? And why would he have opted to take me there in the first place?
I wasn’t worried about it, now, however. He obviously had it in his heart to change his mind and stay on my side.
Unless… icy dread pooled in me at the thought, but… what if he was just a really, really good actor? What if that was his job? To win my trust…
No! Aleth was my brother, and he loved me!
“Regardless of your actions, welcome to the convoy. I am Leviticus, and this is my sister Louvittah. We are the superiors, we keep this convoy safe, so do not jeopardize the security of this place.” I nodded, shoving a forkful of lettuce in my mouth and chewing as loudly as I could.
“I’ll be leaving soon anyway,” I said. “So no worries.” The ‘superiors’ raised an eyebrow, giving each other a glance.
“You’ll be leaving?” Louvittah said it like she was stupid or something. Yes, I was leaving. Did you not hear what I just said?
“Oh yes. I’ve decided I’m going to Sandroya after all. That was the original plan, right?” Maybe I really shouldn’t have said anything. I was just further proving Talora’s point concerning my conspicuousness and indiscretion. I really couldn’t keep my headstrong mouth shut. “The way I see it is… I’m just going to continue having a hard time, on the run like this. And the problem is in Sandroya, so everyone tells me. If I just go up there and kill a few people, or strike a deal maybe, I can focus less on running away from angry priests and more on getting my family to accept me.” Leviticus gave a heavy yawn and folded his arms. What? I was getting sick of these people.
“But you can’t leave so soon!” Louvittah said, putting on a smile from nowhere. When people smiled like she did, I knew there was something going on. It’s not hard to see trouble coming from elongated canines or incisors from the devil’s smirk. I chewed my foliage slowly, listening. “In a few days, we’re holding a tiny ball to welcome some very powerful figures that Sandroya is after into the convoy. Don’t you think it would be best for you to stay?” No, I didn’t, not at all. I thought staying at the convoy was horrible, especially hearing Lilu’s voice within the walls.
“Perhaps,” I replied, swallowing my food. “I’ll see how things are going by then.” I had to leave. I had to take Aleth and go. Leviticus eyed Louvittah suspiciously for a few seconds, and then the two nodded in unison.
“Yes. The ball. You ought stay, Tizena,” he said.
“I’ve got a question, sir.” That stunned him until I could finish my plate. “How does everyone know who I am? I haven’t done a damn thing.” Of course I knew; Talora told me it was because the Father of all Nightwalkers turned me himself. But that wasn’t good enough for me – no, I knew there was more to it. There had to be. Leviticus didn’t look like he was ready to say anything, however, and the silence pulled on his winkles.
“I’ll leave this one in your hands, Lou. I still have work to do planning this social gathering.” Then he left, exiting stage right into the hallway and off to one of the underground passages. However, being alone with Louvittah had made my heart race. As soon as her brother had left, the devil in her came out.
“Listen, you!” she hissed, inching closer to me. “You’re going to stay right under our finger as long as Leviticus is the most dangerous one in this convoy. He’s number two on Sandroya’s list, and you’re number five, so as far as I’m concerned, you’ll listen to what we tell you is best, and you’ll believe it, too!” Her eyes became like obsidian stones, nothing but jet black nothingness, and her teeth grew rough and long as she bared them at me. What the hell did she think she was to be putting me in my place? I was the Nightwalker Father’s child! But she didn’t stick around for me to argue, and walked out just as Leviticus had, her form changing rapidly. Her skin turned to the color of ash and appeared to be growing spines, and I could see horns beginning to grow from her head. But that was all. I didn’t want to follow her to see what else she would become.
Admittedly, I was feeling quite low. Diminished. Dwarfed. I hated being put in my place, and I wasn’t going to just let someone tell me what to do because of a fear factor. Though that is what government is mostly run on, it’s not the only thing. But this government, the convoy, had that and nothing else. Only scare tactics. Original.
At that point, things were so mixed up, I started to have one of those ‘stepping-back’ moments to try and soak up the whole picture. It began when I went to wash my plate and fork off in the kitchen. All it took was the running water in the sink to get my mind going. What happened? One second, I was helping my sister throw a family get-together, and the next, my long lost brother comes and whisks me away, telling me that I’m a bloodsucker. Funny how things happened so fast. In the beginning, Aleth tried to take me to Sandroya, as the convoy had planned. Talora knew, he knew, Lilu knew… everyone did. Talora forgot to not tell me that the ones who really wanted me, strangely alive and kicking, were in Sandroya… the ones who had given me this second chance that was growing in my head, the ones that had been looking at me for at least twelve years. What if those people were the ones running the Dark Sweep Act, and in return for the convoy’s safety, my life was to be given? Whatever this whole thing was about, I had to crash it. I couldn’t let it unfold like it was planned.
Suddenly, there was a noise. A creaking. A door, the kitchen door, opening, and there she was. There the bitch was. Lilu stood, staring at me, her arms folded and a smug look on her face to match it. She must have been out doing something important, because her pastel clothes had fresh bloodstains on them. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t dare to. I had been shown up all day long, so I was fine with believing that was how all of my encounters for the day would end up. There was no use in challenging that.
But Lilu had other plans.
“So you made it.” I ran my hands underneath the sink water, trying to hide a sigh. How was I going to get out of this one?
“Apparently.” She didn’t like my attitude, and I could tell, because the room grew about seven degrees colder in a matter of seconds. I still avoided her eyes.
“You shouldn’t have. I told you and your brother to stay away from this place.” Pursing my lips, I turned off the faucet and waved my hands of excess water. I know I had told myself to just deal with the day’s belittling, but I was getting so sick and tired of everyone feeling like they had the best of me, like it was their place to put me in mine.
“Guess you’ll just have to deal with it,” I told her. Then, a large knife came soaring right past my face. “Dealing already, are we?” Oh, my wonderful smooth talking. It wasn’t going to get me anywhere, though! I backed up and finally set my eyes on the woman, who’s arms were full of kitchen knives, and snake fangs were taunting me with that goddamned toxin. How I lusted to rip out her jugular and drink up the vile essence it carried. Knowing that there was something so detestable made me yearn to kill it and carry around my trophy. The only thing better than her shrunken head threaded on a necklace would be her very blood running through my veins, constantly reminding me of the power I had crushed.
Another knife narrowly missed me.
“You bitch! Why did you have to ruin everything for us?” What? What the hell did I do? Why the hell were they ruining everything for me? “You shouldn’t have come! You, nor your brother!”
“You leave him alone!” My blood was pumping, now. “You stay away from him! He has done nothing wrong!” The daemoness laughed.
“Really? Is that what you believe?” She approached. Bring it on, I thought. I had let too many people down today to let myself down, too. “You think he’s really this sweet, innocent little brother? How could you be so stupid?” She laughed, and it was a horrible noise. She couldn’t just have a nice, human-like chuckle, no. She had to have a shrieking daemon cackle. Thanks, God.
“I think you underestimate the bond of family, Lilu.” There she went, still laughing.
“You’re so ridiculous. You and your brother. Hah! You two make me sick!” Then, she rushed up to me, two knives still in her hands, and those fangs still loaded with venom. “You wanna know what I think?” I didn’t dare run. Lilu looked much, much faster than me, so I backed away slowly, inching from her bit by bit, but she only moved in closer. Giggling. “Well? Do you?” I stole a glance behind me – no room left. As I shrugged, I backed right into a wall, and Lilu had her perfect opportunity, the one she was waiting for. Her body pressed against mine as she pinned me to the wall by my clothes, the cold steel of the knives against my skin making me shiver. When I felt her breath against my neck, my stomach churned. “I think you two are a little,” her lips gently grazed my throat, “too close.”
I could swear my plans for ripping out her jugular were going to be reenacted on me, when the kitchen door opened.
“Lilu!” Good Goddess, it was Ryou. My silver-haired savior. The daemoness blushed, and I could see a bead of sweat gather on her forehead. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I…”
“Get away from her! She is an honored guest among these walls! And, the last thing anyone would want is a reason for Mynx to begin grudging.” Lilu gazed at me helplessly, stuttering, obviously not wanting to get away from me. “I can assure you that trying to suck his Child dry would rub his fur the wrong way.” Seeing my own opportunity, I gently shoved the vile creature off of me and dusted myself off, carefully removing myself from the wall. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Lilu. In this convoy, we depend on one another. The object of the game is to keep everyone alive, not kill them off.”
She wanted to spit that venom of hers so bad, I could feel it, but she merely gave a “hmph” and stomped out of the kitchen. Immediately, I sighed in relief.
“Thank you so much.” Ryou returned my gratitude with a laugh and put his hand on my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat.
“She never was very good at games.”
Have you ever fought with yourself until you came to a resolution solely because it would never end with a mutual understanding by all parts of your mind? Usually, I can never achieve that, because then I start fighting with myself about the reasons why my mind can’t get along with itself. In the end, I wind up right back where I started. Especially then, standing with Mynx in the courtyard. In the end, it didn’t even matter.
Gabriella had died.
Mynx could breathe life into her a hundred times, but it would never change that. Gabriella had seen the end. What was it like for her? Did she, too, have strange people in her head that debated creating a second chance for her? Was she living another mundane life like I had when I was in my coma? Or had her soul already found itself a newborn host? Or a newly reborn host? I then wondered… if she was reborn, what kind of person would harbor Gabriella’s body? So many questions… my head was getting ready to split, I was sure.
“I can’t make that decision,” I said finally. Mynx’s eyes stared at me instantly, the kind of stare that you can never decipher. “If she’s meant to die, she’s meant to die, and if she’s mean to live, then she’s meant to live. I can’t bear that decision. I can’t play Fate.” What the hell was I saying? Did I even believe in that statement? Then, obviously disappointed in me, Mynx turned away, his tail flicking before he leapt away from me, taking off into the orchard. Leaving me. Had I let him down?
I seemed to make mistake after mistake, even if my choices seemed to be ethically ‘right’. I looked into the sky; dusk. It was getting chilly outside, and in the barren outskirts of Davrkton, chilly could very well promise snow. At that point, I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful to Aleth for bringing me to the convoy, or disturbed. Mynx confused me and scared me at the same time, and I might even have some hatred mixed in there somewhere; Eidolon was a sweetheart, so I didn’t mind her at all; Ryou… I couldn’t say much about him. I didn’t know enough. I was craving to know more, about him and the convoy altogether. Why was I so important to these people?
“Tizzy?” Eidi’s sweet voice met my ears. I turned to see her behind me, at the complex’s back door. She gave me the sorrowful smile that you give someone when they’re mourning, and I only wish that that was the reason I had come to Gabriella’s body in the first place. “Talana says that you can visit your brother now. Would you like me to take you there?”
“Yes! Please.” Not only was I dying to meet this Talana person, but I missed Aleth, and I was worried sick about him. I unfortunately had to see what happened to someone when they come in contact with an ardok. My eyes wandered to Gabriella’s body again. If I lost Aleth, though, I don’t know what I’d do. I followed the apparition down a dirty, candlelit hallway and down a flight of stairs hidden behind wall panels. We were then underground. I knew it. I knew the ground-level building was just a ruse! There was no way the convoy would choose to hide out in such an obvious place that close to Sandroya!
The walk down the underground hall was long and dark. We were in more of a tunnel, actually, all brick, and a damp musty scent dripped from the walls. My heart beat in anticipation of seeing my brother. God, how I hoped he was okay. The loss of Gabriella had me sort of stunned, and every time I pictured her in my mind, a blanket of snow covered my body. It wasn’t fair. I should’ve died. I would’ve been okay. Even after her death, it seemed that I would live on. But not her… not Gabriella. Icy flakes were beginning to fall on me again.
Finally, we went up a flight of stairs and came outside, back into Massingberd Forest, and low and behold, a small cottage was lying in a clearing. My heart skipped a beat – that was all too familiar.
“Talana lives right up here. She has issues with Louvittah, so she doesn’t live under the same roof as us.” My breath was short as I approached the door. “I’ll go back to the Home and let you have your privacy with each other. I’ll see you later tonight, Tizzy.” The air carried her back to the staircase, hidden beneath a trapdoor and some brush. I was alone again. Eidi was letting me fend for myself with this new woman I was to meet.
But things seemed too familiar. I didn’t feel as alone as I thought. As I stood there, staring at the wood and stucco cottage, my breath came out in quick white puffs, and the trees and purple dusk closed in on me. My hand at last touched the cold doorknob.
“T-… Talana?”
“Door’s open, dear.” A chill ran down my spine like a wave crashing into me, and before I knew it, I had turned the knob and pushed open the door. There she was, staring right back at me. There she was, inside my head and down my back at the same time.
“Tal?” Those delicate lips of hers turned into a smile as she took a sip of her tea.
“It seems like you already know who I am. You must be Tizzy.” Everything I had ever seen inside Talora’s little tree-home was right there in front of me, in the Physical Realm, no longer plaguing my own Mental Planes. Everything, right down to her little fire pit and tea kettle, and the little bed with a forest green comforter. This time, I wasn’t her patient, but Aleth was, and fortunately, he wasn’t conscious to witness the rant that I was building up inside of me.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, glowering. Once again, she flashed me innocence.
“What do you mean? I’m caring for your brother, Tizzy.” I grumbled and clenched my fists.
“Talora—”
“Ah-ah-ah!” The woman, ‘Talana’, waved her finger at me like a sugar-sweet mother to her child, grinning, this time something other than kidlike playfulness in her expression. “We have a rule, Tizena, down here on the Physical Plane, just like we do on the Mental, Astral, and Ethereal. We go only by the name given to us in each of the realms!” I was burning with anger inside.
“Fine, Tal! Tell me what’s going on! Tell me what you’ve been doing inside my head for all these years! Last time I checked, you were some figment of my imagination!” No, no, no, my temper was getting ahead of me again…
“No Tizzy, I’m quite real. Many pieces of your mind are much more real than you give them credit for.” My head was racing, trying to come up with explanations, reasons, anything. If she had been real this whole time, that meant that someone who was just as real had to be in charge of these ‘decisions’ to keep me alive. “You’re thinking in too small of a picture frame.” It meant that someone was playing Fate. With my life. “My only purpose is to make sure that physically and mentally, you’re okay. If I could only nurse your subconscious back to health, your body would be extremely vulnerable. Unfortunately, that can’t be replaced.” For a long time, too long, someone had been toying with me. Using me. Playing me like a damn pawn in a chess game.
“Shut up,” I told her, narrowing my eyes. She winced. “You don’t care what happens to me. This is all just a game.”
“Tizzy, you don’t understand—”
“No, the problem is that I do understand. I see what’s going on, and that wasn’t in the plans, was it? I’m done with this, Tal. I’m not playing games anymore.” Suddenly, Aleth stirred in his rest. ‘Talana’ glanced at him quickly, and then got to her feet.
“You listen to me!” she whispered, jabbing her finger into my chest. “You don’t see anything! I’m trying to help you, Tizzy!”
“Then help me out by telling me who the hell started all of this!” I whispered back. She stared at me, her red eyes watering and her pale skin flushing. Then, biting her lip, she sighed and looked away.
“I can’t…” I had a feeling she would let me down like that. Everyone was the same. Exactly the same.
“Fine. I’m taking you out first, and when I find the ones in charge of this little game, I’ll be sure to tell them about your undying allegiance before I kill them, too.” Was I really planning that? Was I really saying it? ‘Talana’ – hell, I might as well just call her Talora – gave me a wide-eyed stare and licked her lips. She was shorter than she appeared in my mind, which wasn’t helping to alleviate my temper.
“No! Tizzy, you don’t understand! I’m on your side! But it’s harder than you think to explain things!” I folded my arms. Maybe she deserved at least the chance to defend herself. “I’m just doing what I’m told! If… if I just up and told you who was doing these things to you, who you believe to be leading you on, it would be obvious that someone told you! I know you, Tizzy, don’t forget that! We’ve known each other for years! Hell, I’ve been living in your mind, for crying out loud! I know how you are – if I told you everything you want to know right now, you would march right up to Sandroya, pissed as could be, and slaughter everyone!
“They would know someone told you! And because they know of our connection, how much we’ve bonded, they would know it was me, and… since I’m not of much use to them, they would kill me.”
“So all of this toil I’m going through is just to save your own ass?” She sighed and grumbled, heading over to her tea kettle.
“It’s not like that, and you know it.” That didn’t make me any happier though. How the hell did she expect me to react?
“Still. You said my fanclub was in Sandroya, huh?” That caught Talora off guard, and she gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. The good thing about her was that it was nearly impossible for her to keep a secret when she knew someone was trying to figure it out. She had a nasty habit of ‘accidentally’ dropping hints. Huge ones.
“I… I didn’t say that. When did I say that?”
“It was all I needed to know. Thanks Tal!” I took one last look at Aleth before turning and leaving. Oddly reminiscent of what I was always doing to my mind.
By the time I reached the convoy’s complex, it was nightfall. I had gone around in constant circles with my thoughts, ending up nowhere, like I usually did. Thinking shouldn’t be nearly as hard, but it was, and I hated it. I was coming through the back door that Eidolon had left open for me, and was on my way to find the little ghost to help me find some sustenance perhaps, when I heard a familiar voice. It threw all wandering thoughts off track even more than they previously were, so much so that I completely forgot most of what had been on my mind in the first place.
“Hopefully, she won’t complicate things more than they already are.”
I winced. It was Lilu.
“Don’t be stupid. There’s no stopping further complication.”
Another female. Deeper voice, older…
“If all you plan to do is whine, Lilu, perhaps you should leave like Talana did.”
A strong male’s voice. No doubt he was the alpha of the convoy. When he said the name 'Talana’, the other woman scoffed and snorted. Perhaps that was the ‘Louvittah’ person that Eidolon had told me about.
“I’m just trying to say that complications would be a nuisance right now. The least we could do is keep Aleth where he is so he stays out of the picture. Without him, she’s nothing.” My eyes narrowed. Lilu, that little bitch. “He did screw with our plans after all, didn’t he?”
“Maybe you’ve got a point there, Lilu,” the woman said. Sounds of Lilu trying to hold in a haughty giggle could be made out. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, though… my heart was pounding so fast. I needed to go somewhere to collect myself, and I needed to go there fast. The three of them were wandering off, and my stomach was growling. Fortunately, I found the kitchen with little effort, and in their cold storage was a head of lettuce. It was going to seem awful rabbit-like of me, but I was going to eat it. I was hungry for the first time in days, and something crisp and cold was unusually appetizing. Quickly, I grabbed the nearest knife and chopped it up, drizzled it with some vinegar, and began to plan my innocent front.
I planned to run into Lilu and the other two in the dining area as I was just naively munching away. In no way was I listening in on them! No! Of course not! But, my plan worked, at least a little bit. Lilu was nowhere to be found, but the other two walked in on me as I was shoveling away my meal. I almost didn’t pay them any heed, the food was so good, but the two brought a startling presence into the room that couldn’t be ignored.
The man was frightening, even more alpha in looks than his voice let on. His face was jagged and scarred, and his skin hung off of his skull like a soggy paper bag. He had deep set eyes that seemed to glare constantly. And the woman, hell she scared me more than the man. Her face was pointy and heart-shaped, pointy being everything from her nose, chin, and cheekbones to even her collarbone and shoulders. She looked like an exceptionally vile thing, with a full-lipped grin that was there only to make fun of you. That, and her hair was thin and short, and honestly kind of ugly. Hag-like, maybe even.
“What the hell is this?” the man asked, staring incredulously at me, the whites of his eyes unbearably bright. He didn’t need to be so rude about it.
“It’s a salad. There might be another head of lettuce left. You want me to make you one?” I asked. They weren’t amused.
“Shouldn’t you be doing something more productive? I expected you to be spending more time with Mynx,” the woman said. I shrugged.
“I got hungry. Can’t survive off of air and dust.”
“Has Eidolon at least given you a room?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m situated. Just taking care of mundane things.” They sighed, obviously displeased. I didn’t care – I had better things to be bothered with. Things were complicated because of me, I wouldn’t lie, and they angered me, but by now I was more curious than anything else. I half thought that Aleth was in on the shit Talora was, and I had no doubt in my mind that Lilu was, too. Why else would she have gotten so pissed at Aleth for changing the plan to take me to Sandroya? And why would he have opted to take me there in the first place?
I wasn’t worried about it, now, however. He obviously had it in his heart to change his mind and stay on my side.
Unless… icy dread pooled in me at the thought, but… what if he was just a really, really good actor? What if that was his job? To win my trust…
No! Aleth was my brother, and he loved me!
“Regardless of your actions, welcome to the convoy. I am Leviticus, and this is my sister Louvittah. We are the superiors, we keep this convoy safe, so do not jeopardize the security of this place.” I nodded, shoving a forkful of lettuce in my mouth and chewing as loudly as I could.
“I’ll be leaving soon anyway,” I said. “So no worries.” The ‘superiors’ raised an eyebrow, giving each other a glance.
“You’ll be leaving?” Louvittah said it like she was stupid or something. Yes, I was leaving. Did you not hear what I just said?
“Oh yes. I’ve decided I’m going to Sandroya after all. That was the original plan, right?” Maybe I really shouldn’t have said anything. I was just further proving Talora’s point concerning my conspicuousness and indiscretion. I really couldn’t keep my headstrong mouth shut. “The way I see it is… I’m just going to continue having a hard time, on the run like this. And the problem is in Sandroya, so everyone tells me. If I just go up there and kill a few people, or strike a deal maybe, I can focus less on running away from angry priests and more on getting my family to accept me.” Leviticus gave a heavy yawn and folded his arms. What? I was getting sick of these people.
“But you can’t leave so soon!” Louvittah said, putting on a smile from nowhere. When people smiled like she did, I knew there was something going on. It’s not hard to see trouble coming from elongated canines or incisors from the devil’s smirk. I chewed my foliage slowly, listening. “In a few days, we’re holding a tiny ball to welcome some very powerful figures that Sandroya is after into the convoy. Don’t you think it would be best for you to stay?” No, I didn’t, not at all. I thought staying at the convoy was horrible, especially hearing Lilu’s voice within the walls.
“Perhaps,” I replied, swallowing my food. “I’ll see how things are going by then.” I had to leave. I had to take Aleth and go. Leviticus eyed Louvittah suspiciously for a few seconds, and then the two nodded in unison.
“Yes. The ball. You ought stay, Tizena,” he said.
“I’ve got a question, sir.” That stunned him until I could finish my plate. “How does everyone know who I am? I haven’t done a damn thing.” Of course I knew; Talora told me it was because the Father of all Nightwalkers turned me himself. But that wasn’t good enough for me – no, I knew there was more to it. There had to be. Leviticus didn’t look like he was ready to say anything, however, and the silence pulled on his winkles.
“I’ll leave this one in your hands, Lou. I still have work to do planning this social gathering.” Then he left, exiting stage right into the hallway and off to one of the underground passages. However, being alone with Louvittah had made my heart race. As soon as her brother had left, the devil in her came out.
“Listen, you!” she hissed, inching closer to me. “You’re going to stay right under our finger as long as Leviticus is the most dangerous one in this convoy. He’s number two on Sandroya’s list, and you’re number five, so as far as I’m concerned, you’ll listen to what we tell you is best, and you’ll believe it, too!” Her eyes became like obsidian stones, nothing but jet black nothingness, and her teeth grew rough and long as she bared them at me. What the hell did she think she was to be putting me in my place? I was the Nightwalker Father’s child! But she didn’t stick around for me to argue, and walked out just as Leviticus had, her form changing rapidly. Her skin turned to the color of ash and appeared to be growing spines, and I could see horns beginning to grow from her head. But that was all. I didn’t want to follow her to see what else she would become.
Admittedly, I was feeling quite low. Diminished. Dwarfed. I hated being put in my place, and I wasn’t going to just let someone tell me what to do because of a fear factor. Though that is what government is mostly run on, it’s not the only thing. But this government, the convoy, had that and nothing else. Only scare tactics. Original.
At that point, things were so mixed up, I started to have one of those ‘stepping-back’ moments to try and soak up the whole picture. It began when I went to wash my plate and fork off in the kitchen. All it took was the running water in the sink to get my mind going. What happened? One second, I was helping my sister throw a family get-together, and the next, my long lost brother comes and whisks me away, telling me that I’m a bloodsucker. Funny how things happened so fast. In the beginning, Aleth tried to take me to Sandroya, as the convoy had planned. Talora knew, he knew, Lilu knew… everyone did. Talora forgot to not tell me that the ones who really wanted me, strangely alive and kicking, were in Sandroya… the ones who had given me this second chance that was growing in my head, the ones that had been looking at me for at least twelve years. What if those people were the ones running the Dark Sweep Act, and in return for the convoy’s safety, my life was to be given? Whatever this whole thing was about, I had to crash it. I couldn’t let it unfold like it was planned.
Suddenly, there was a noise. A creaking. A door, the kitchen door, opening, and there she was. There the bitch was. Lilu stood, staring at me, her arms folded and a smug look on her face to match it. She must have been out doing something important, because her pastel clothes had fresh bloodstains on them. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t dare to. I had been shown up all day long, so I was fine with believing that was how all of my encounters for the day would end up. There was no use in challenging that.
But Lilu had other plans.
“So you made it.” I ran my hands underneath the sink water, trying to hide a sigh. How was I going to get out of this one?
“Apparently.” She didn’t like my attitude, and I could tell, because the room grew about seven degrees colder in a matter of seconds. I still avoided her eyes.
“You shouldn’t have. I told you and your brother to stay away from this place.” Pursing my lips, I turned off the faucet and waved my hands of excess water. I know I had told myself to just deal with the day’s belittling, but I was getting so sick and tired of everyone feeling like they had the best of me, like it was their place to put me in mine.
“Guess you’ll just have to deal with it,” I told her. Then, a large knife came soaring right past my face. “Dealing already, are we?” Oh, my wonderful smooth talking. It wasn’t going to get me anywhere, though! I backed up and finally set my eyes on the woman, who’s arms were full of kitchen knives, and snake fangs were taunting me with that goddamned toxin. How I lusted to rip out her jugular and drink up the vile essence it carried. Knowing that there was something so detestable made me yearn to kill it and carry around my trophy. The only thing better than her shrunken head threaded on a necklace would be her very blood running through my veins, constantly reminding me of the power I had crushed.
Another knife narrowly missed me.
“You bitch! Why did you have to ruin everything for us?” What? What the hell did I do? Why the hell were they ruining everything for me? “You shouldn’t have come! You, nor your brother!”
“You leave him alone!” My blood was pumping, now. “You stay away from him! He has done nothing wrong!” The daemoness laughed.
“Really? Is that what you believe?” She approached. Bring it on, I thought. I had let too many people down today to let myself down, too. “You think he’s really this sweet, innocent little brother? How could you be so stupid?” She laughed, and it was a horrible noise. She couldn’t just have a nice, human-like chuckle, no. She had to have a shrieking daemon cackle. Thanks, God.
“I think you underestimate the bond of family, Lilu.” There she went, still laughing.
“You’re so ridiculous. You and your brother. Hah! You two make me sick!” Then, she rushed up to me, two knives still in her hands, and those fangs still loaded with venom. “You wanna know what I think?” I didn’t dare run. Lilu looked much, much faster than me, so I backed away slowly, inching from her bit by bit, but she only moved in closer. Giggling. “Well? Do you?” I stole a glance behind me – no room left. As I shrugged, I backed right into a wall, and Lilu had her perfect opportunity, the one she was waiting for. Her body pressed against mine as she pinned me to the wall by my clothes, the cold steel of the knives against my skin making me shiver. When I felt her breath against my neck, my stomach churned. “I think you two are a little,” her lips gently grazed my throat, “too close.”
I could swear my plans for ripping out her jugular were going to be reenacted on me, when the kitchen door opened.
“Lilu!” Good Goddess, it was Ryou. My silver-haired savior. The daemoness blushed, and I could see a bead of sweat gather on her forehead. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I…”
“Get away from her! She is an honored guest among these walls! And, the last thing anyone would want is a reason for Mynx to begin grudging.” Lilu gazed at me helplessly, stuttering, obviously not wanting to get away from me. “I can assure you that trying to suck his Child dry would rub his fur the wrong way.” Seeing my own opportunity, I gently shoved the vile creature off of me and dusted myself off, carefully removing myself from the wall. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Lilu. In this convoy, we depend on one another. The object of the game is to keep everyone alive, not kill them off.”
She wanted to spit that venom of hers so bad, I could feel it, but she merely gave a “hmph” and stomped out of the kitchen. Immediately, I sighed in relief.
“Thank you so much.” Ryou returned my gratitude with a laugh and put his hand on my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat.
“She never was very good at games.”
