Post by Lady Hammer on Sept 25, 2007 14:02:04 GMT -5
6: The Moonspine
I felt cold inside. Colder than I had ever felt before, as we approached a worn building, two stories, lying amidst a clearing in the woods. That was Moonspine, but at the time, I couldn’t muster up any personal thoughts on it. I felt… dead. I was losing hold of myself… it must’ve been that “something wrong” that Aleth had—no… I didn’t want to think about him. Not after what happened. Then again, I was to blame, wasn’t I?
I lagged behind, fearing further confrontation. Typical. I was beginning to hate myself, though I suppose “beginning to” would be a poor choice of words. Perhaps I’d be better off saying that I had never hated myself more than I did then. I was so used to being a strong willed person. I was so used to never losing, never backing down, causing fear in those that challenged me… and I had to say, I really hated the taste of my own medicine. Damn him, I thought. Goddess damn him for what he’d done to me.
I then took the time to feel sorry for Gabriella. She was so polite, this whole situation was probably scaring the shit out of her. I bet she had never bargained for the trouble she was getting. I hoped she wouldn’t tell Allanis about everything, because the last thing I wanted was having my siblings hot on my tail.
Aleth opened the Moonspine’s door and held it open for Gabriella and I, and good god, I wanted to shoot myself. He was using his disgusting courtesy to mock me. Once I was inside the Moonspine, however, my fury for him left me in my amazement. Well, what could’ve equally been amazement or dread.
Moonspine was filthy, and Gabriella had been right in mentioning the giant mutt thugs. Three of them, mixed with a greenskin of some kind, were gathered around a table playing a card game, and eyed us viciously on our way to the counter. I suddenly regretted disregarding Gabriella’s words so harshly. If one of the giant thugs didn’t kill us in our sleep, surely one of the other suspicious figures at the tavern would. Suddenly, Aleth turned to the redhead.
“Thank you for your help taking us here.”
“It wasn’t a problem, but… I think maybe I should stay with you two. It isn’t safe here, and you’re more likely to get mugged at night with a smaller party.” He gave her a look like he wasn’t going for it. “Please! I know a thing or two about defending myself, and I would hate to see something happen to my good friend’s sister!”
“Or her brother,” I said, smirking. He hated me then, I could almost feel it emanating from him. Gabriella stared at him in astonishment, looking the cold bastard over like she couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Are you really? You’re one of Allanis’s brothers?” He nodded, the muscles in his face tense. “I’ve never met you before… so, are you—”
“Aleth,” he said quickly, giving her a second-long handshake. She must’ve known by then that there was no turning back, now. Not if she planned on keeping us company that night. My brother gave me an abhorrent look before reaching the man at the counter, who donned one eye, an eye patch, and a salt-and-pepper beard that could hide a baby.
“How many rooms do you have available?” Aleth’s tone had turned dark; usually he displayed some kindness, but I seemed to have screwed that over. I tried not to care.
“Two,” the man croaked. The noise was fitting; he looked somewhat like a frog, too. But, being that there were only two rooms left, we took them both, Aleth getting one to himself, and Gabriella and I sharing the other. Both rooms were upstairs, and we gathered in mine to configure a plan. However, upon stepping inside, I could’ve sworn I was standing in a musty old attic.
“How far are you planning to follow us?” Aleth asked the redhead, his voice as hushed as he could make it. There was no telling what was listening in on us at this place. Gabriella gave a sigh that was obviously frustrated.
“If you’re heading for Davrkton, you’ll need someone to ferry you to Massingberd Forest. I’ll take care of that, but then I need to get back to my original post.”
“You won’t tell Allanis, will you?” She looked into Aleth’s eyes for a second, the ones that had returned to their usual shade of brown, and shook her head.
“I’m getting the drift that this is serious. Allanis doesn’t need to know. Your secret is safe,” she whispered. A tremendous weight had suddenly lifted from my shoulders. She really was on our side – Gabriella was really trying to help. She cared.
Maybe I needed to look at things differently, I thought. I pissed off Aleth, who was doing nothing but trying to keep me safe and happy, and I put Gabriella, who had given us a discount and walked us to Moonspine, in an awkward position in the middle of a sibling argument, which was a place that no one needed to be in. It was my fault, all of it. Because I was an idiot.
“It’s getting late,” the redhead replied. “It’s sundown, and I’m sure all sorts of bad news people will start coming in, so I’m going to stay downstairs. I’d like to know what we should be staying alert for tonight.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t that… dangerous?” She smiled one of those little knowing smiles at Aleth before donning a pair of knuckledusters from her pockets.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, winking. After nicely hiding her weapons with a pair of gloves, she disappeared downstairs. Leaving me alone with my monster, who gave me a horrible glare as he walked off into his own room.
“Rest up, Tizzy.”
That bastard! Why was I feeling so hurt? What happened to all of my anger? Shouldn’t I have been getting angry by then? I slowly slinked into an old ratty bed, sitting on the edge, burying my head in my hands. What was happening to me? I needed to fight! I needed to take back my pride! No. No, that’s what screwed me over in the first place… but I couldn’t just stay like this… I couldn’t just stay a disgraceful mess. A heavy sigh left me, and I fell back onto the mattress. What was I supposed to do?
I suddenly thought of Mariette. What would she have told me right about then? If Centa was ever going to let that girl talk to me again, that is. I finally realized just how much I had screwed things up. I shamed my family, shamed Allanis, who had always given me a second chance, I hurt the ones who had done nothing but love me… and for what? I ruined every chance of ever belonging to a family again because of some inner conflict? Because Aleth was teasing me with a little piece of myself that would make me feel complete?
I would never feel complete without a family.
Then, as I had been resting on that rickety bed, it happened. I was fine, just going through the same emotional debate that I always did, when my vision blurred. No. Good God, no, please, I thought. I wanted to cry. Double vision came next, and the room started spinning around me. The white-hot pain erupted inside of my body again, and then the shaking began. I kept asking myself, “Should I get Aleth? Should I get Aleth?” No! I would show him what I was made of! The usual agonies ensued, what with the pain in my eyes and in my gums, and then I experienced a new one. I felt like every one of my fingernails had been ripped out, and the suddenness of that pain alone was enough to make me scream.
That wasn’t all that happened, though. That night I learned what I was craving, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore; I knew what I was. The insatiable desire to have raw meat, the one that I had suppressed for so long, came back to haunt me. I wanted something fresh. And I knew what it was. God, the pain and desires together were absolutely horrible… for the second time that day, maybe third, I felt like I could die.
I had to get Aleth. I needed him. I had to admit it, because it was the only way I was going to be able to get along with myself. I hurried to the door, staggering, and wasted no time getting out into the hallway, because by then, my shaking had grown so violent, I might as well have been having a seizure.
Aleth’s room was right next to mine and Gabriella’s, so thankfully I didn’t have to go looking around, especially anywhere downstairs. I threw myself onto his door, banging my small fists and calling out his name. I was beyond feeling pathetic.
“Tizzy?” I couldn’t wait for him to let me in, and managed to turn the doorknob myself, my weight pushing the door in. I stumbled into the ground, nearing convulsions. Aleth had merely been reading a book, because he was still in his chair reading it when I made my entrance. Immediately, he bolted up and came to me.
“Tizzy!”
“Make it stop!” I was disgusted with myself, and then, as if things couldn’t have gotten any worse, I started crying. I had completely lost my composure.
“Tizzy,” he whispered, holding my head between his hands, “Tizzy, you’re strong, you’re gonna make it through this!” I grabbed onto his arms in a futile attempt to keep mine still.
“No,” I cried, sniffling, trying to shake my head in his grasp, “no, Aleth, no! If this is what I have to look forward to, trying to fight, I don’t want to! I can’t!” The frown on his face was like his whole world came crashing down. I was big sister Tizzy. I gave him hope. If I could do it, so could he. But no. I failed him. Softly, he sighed, bringing my forehead to his and closing his eyes.
“Alright.” With one arm, he held me close to control my shaking, and with the other, he started to take off his jacket and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. “Are you sure?” His voice was broken, and it made me cry more. I should’ve been looking after him! He had been burdened his entire life…
“Yes…” I was such a failure. I watched him as he took his forefinger and ran it across his incisors, but they were longer, sharper… he pricked his skin just right, and a tiny drip of what I had been dying for beaded on the tip of his index. “Blood…” The fire raged inside of me, and though there was pain inside as well, it was like nothing else mattered except getting a taste…
“Tizzy, you have to promise me something before I give you this,” Aleth said. His voice… he sounded like he was ready to cry right there with me.
“Anything,” I replied, my hands, quivering, reaching for that bleeding finger. “Anything! Please, Aleth, I can’t take it anymore!”
“Don’t let this consume you…” I nodded, not caring if I meant it or not, and grabbed his hand. It was only a meager drop, but it was so good. My craving grew so intense, I was going to bite his finger off to get more if he hadn’t have stopped me. He pulled it away when he saw that my incisors had grown like his, and then pulled down his collar to show me a scar. From a bite. Two incisors. As he said his next words, he turned away, as if he couldn’t bear to see me let him down.
“Bite right here,” he whispered. I couldn’t believe it. He was going to let me do more than I could’ve ever asked for, and I didn’t deny it. My hands gripped his shoulders, and slowly, carefully, I hovered over his neck, watching as goosebumps rose on his skin. Then, I grazed over the puncture wounds, and pierced them. He drew in a sharp breath, and I could tell he had tried to hide it. He was in pain.
I felt like a disgusting human. If I was human. I felt disgusting because Aleth’s blood was delicious, quenching my bloodthirsty tongue, and I had never felt so invigorated in my life. My senses flourished, my heart quickened, and… I felt alive. Aleth placed his hand on my back and looked up into the ceiling, and I saw a single tear slide down his face. What had I done? No one had ever cared for me like that… no one. What was I doing to him? And I couldn’t stop! The blood was instilling some life in me that I had never felt before.
“Unh…” I stopped at his moan, raising my eyes. He was white as a sheet, on the verge of losing consciousness, so I willed myself to pull away, watching as the wound on his neck healed itself.
“I’m sorry!” It didn’t help. I had weakened him so much, he fell, back against the floor, and I watched the sweat bead on his forehead, the shaking of his body with each drawn breath…
“It’s okay,” he said. “You needed it. I never should have asked so much of you, there are so few who can deny what they are…” He opened his eyes, now red, and smiled. The tears in me welded up all over again. “It’s okay. You needed it.”
“I’m weak!” I cried, clenching my fists. “I’m nothing special, Aleth! I’m weak! I failed you!”
“No. None of that is true.” I was silent, staring at him, sitting over his dwindling form and crying. “You’re still alive, so you haven’t failed me. You’ve survived the first and the second craving, and you weren’t in the best condition when doing so, so you are special, no matter what you think. But,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “now that you’ve given in, you’ll become stronger than anyone can imagine.”
He laid there on the floor, exhausted, drained of blood. I probably took more than I needed, I didn’t doubt it. Aleth couldn’t even get up to move to his bed, I had done so much harm. At least I felt comforted that I hadn’t let him down. Or so he said. But I was still nothing but a filthy bloodsucker.
I sat behind his head, using my shirt sleeve to wipe the sweat from his face, and smiling faintly as the muscles in his body relaxed. The least I could have done was offer him some hospitality like he had for me. But, as I sat there, watching over him like the big sister that I was, so many things went through my mind… he had bite wounds; I didn’t. So how had I become a… a bloodsucker? I wasn’t bitten. My body was clean of marks.
Maybe… I was misleading myself. Maybe the transformation wasn’t caused by a bite. But when had I been turned? There were so many holes in my memory, it could’ve happened on so many different occasions… then again, Aleth said we were similar. Were we turned at the same time?
Then, it occurred to me, the very reason why the family victimized him in the first place. We had all sensed it. That had to be it! We could feel it, the change he went through. Maybe that was why I had always felt so out of place, too… only I, unlike Aleth, could handle myself. I could hold my own against any number of insulting individuals, no matter who they were. Even family. Aleth… I had to protect him. I had to protect him at all costs, I realized. I may be a bitch, but I could love, too, and god dammit, I was going to! I couldn’t tell whether my newfound goal was from the blood I had drained from him, or what, but it didn’t matter. He would be—
“Help!”
A scream. Gabriella’s. My brother groaned and strained to get up, but I held him down.
“No,” I said. “You stay. You’re in no condition to fight.” His eyes locked with mine, and I could see all of the words he wanted to say swimming inside of them.
“But—”
“It’s my turn to look out for you.” And that was when I took my leave with something new coursing through my body. Gabriella’s second scream for help only further fueled my determination, and only one thing was on my mind: someone was going to be sorry they crossed paths with a Hallenar, tonight.
I came down the stairs and into the front room feeling like the most vicious person in the world. I felt untouchable, and I hoped to God that I was. Right away, my eyes set on the scene, mind racing with predictions. One giant thug was grounded, either unconscious or dead, his face a bloody pulp. Another giant thug had Gabriella pinned against the wall by her neck, and the poor girl was losing air fast; I could see it in her blue face. The third thug seemed to be waiting for the girl’s help to arrive, as he was situated at the bottom of the stairs, his fists clenched, and, like the scattered bystanders, his eyes were glaring right at me.
“Which one of you wants to play first?” The two remaining thugs laughed at my words, and it was just what I wanted. My anger soared.
“D’jyoo hea’ dat? Miz dinks she can fight wif us!” the one at the base of the stairs laughed. I wasted no time, and brought my foot up right into his chin in an amazing display of flexibility and strength that I never knew I had. The sound of his neck cracking brought a smile to my lips.
“Oh shit!” The thug holding Gabriella dropped her to the floor and immediately came my way while his fallen companion struggled to get up. Bring it on, I thought. The leader threw his fist my way, and my adrenaline pumped through me fiercely, aiding my reflexes. I narrowly dodged the punch, when suddenly, the blood I drank took its full effects on me.
My nails grew into claws, my vision sharpened, and my new fangs came back out. The true nature of what I was had finally shown itself. I tore my claws through the thug’s chest, clothes and all, the feeling of flesh deep in my nails oddly pleasing. Then, I dug them into his shoulders and hoisted myself onto his torso. He screamed; I smiled. But the final moment was about to come – I pierced his neck with my fangs, and with a shower of blood, I ripped his jugular vein, and I had to say, in a sick way it was absolutely beautiful. I bounded off of him and watched the beast fall. It was the most satisfying thing I had ever seen.
However, I had an audience. The thug that was still alive, Gabriella, and the few lone souls sticking it out in the tavern were staring with rapt attention. I glanced down to see that I was soaked in blood – it was dribbling down my chin, covered my chest, and had stained my white shirt. Dammit.
“Fo’ fukk’s sake miz, plez dun kill me! I dun wan’ no trubbl’ wif a nightwalka!”
“Shoulda thought about that before you screwed around with my friend then, huh?” The frown on the thug’s face almost made me laugh, it was so pitiful. But, I spared him the further desperation and drove my palm into his huge, flat nose, sending the cartilage into his skull. He fell, dead.
It was then that I felt the weight of the world in stares. I looked around, catching my breath, letting my nails and teeth return to normal, and everyone was just staring. Gabriella slowly rose, and then took my arm.
“Tizzy, we’d better get back upstairs…” Before anything else happened. Yeah, I understood. I followed behind her, almost smelling the scent of her fear… the heightened sense had to be the aftermath of Aleth’s blood… everything was so different. I had never killed before that night. Not even another animal.
The sudden shame bore down on me, and it was heavier than I expected.
I was a murderer.
I was filthy.
I didn’t deserve to live.
Gabriella didn’t say a word to me as we wandered the hallway, and I got the feeling like she didn’t want to. Like she never wanted to speak to me again. I was a goddamned nightwalker, after all.
She knocked lightly on my brother’s door, but instead of waiting, I moved in front of her and came in myself. He was still on the floor, but had managed to crawl over to his bed, leaning over it, no doubt trying to gather the strength to stand.
“I was on my way down,” he said, blushing. “Just give me a second, and I can take—”
“Actually… Tizzy took care of it.” Aleth gave Gabriella a strange look, and then scanned over my blood soaked form with horror, his mouth hanging open.
“What did you do?”
“Hey! If I hadn’t handled it… in the fashion that I did, Gabby here would be dead!” She winced at the nickname. “I had no choice but to get dirty, Aleth!”
“It’s true,” the redhead replied. I was a little surprised that she was standing beside me on that one. “I caused a little bit of trouble downstairs. I would’ve had my neck snapped if Tizzy didn’t act.” The seriousness in my brother’s eyes was making me nervous. I knew I had done wrong! I’m sure he knew how I felt, too.
“Are they all dead?” He looked at me with pure shame, like he expected me to return it or something. I knew I killed down there, but as long as I had saved a life, done something for the “greater good”, I would not feel bad about it.
“Someone had to act, didn’t they? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have pulled out a gun and just shot them yourself!” Aleth had no further words.
It seemed that the taste of victory was back on my side.
I felt cold inside. Colder than I had ever felt before, as we approached a worn building, two stories, lying amidst a clearing in the woods. That was Moonspine, but at the time, I couldn’t muster up any personal thoughts on it. I felt… dead. I was losing hold of myself… it must’ve been that “something wrong” that Aleth had—no… I didn’t want to think about him. Not after what happened. Then again, I was to blame, wasn’t I?
I lagged behind, fearing further confrontation. Typical. I was beginning to hate myself, though I suppose “beginning to” would be a poor choice of words. Perhaps I’d be better off saying that I had never hated myself more than I did then. I was so used to being a strong willed person. I was so used to never losing, never backing down, causing fear in those that challenged me… and I had to say, I really hated the taste of my own medicine. Damn him, I thought. Goddess damn him for what he’d done to me.
I then took the time to feel sorry for Gabriella. She was so polite, this whole situation was probably scaring the shit out of her. I bet she had never bargained for the trouble she was getting. I hoped she wouldn’t tell Allanis about everything, because the last thing I wanted was having my siblings hot on my tail.
Aleth opened the Moonspine’s door and held it open for Gabriella and I, and good god, I wanted to shoot myself. He was using his disgusting courtesy to mock me. Once I was inside the Moonspine, however, my fury for him left me in my amazement. Well, what could’ve equally been amazement or dread.
Moonspine was filthy, and Gabriella had been right in mentioning the giant mutt thugs. Three of them, mixed with a greenskin of some kind, were gathered around a table playing a card game, and eyed us viciously on our way to the counter. I suddenly regretted disregarding Gabriella’s words so harshly. If one of the giant thugs didn’t kill us in our sleep, surely one of the other suspicious figures at the tavern would. Suddenly, Aleth turned to the redhead.
“Thank you for your help taking us here.”
“It wasn’t a problem, but… I think maybe I should stay with you two. It isn’t safe here, and you’re more likely to get mugged at night with a smaller party.” He gave her a look like he wasn’t going for it. “Please! I know a thing or two about defending myself, and I would hate to see something happen to my good friend’s sister!”
“Or her brother,” I said, smirking. He hated me then, I could almost feel it emanating from him. Gabriella stared at him in astonishment, looking the cold bastard over like she couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Are you really? You’re one of Allanis’s brothers?” He nodded, the muscles in his face tense. “I’ve never met you before… so, are you—”
“Aleth,” he said quickly, giving her a second-long handshake. She must’ve known by then that there was no turning back, now. Not if she planned on keeping us company that night. My brother gave me an abhorrent look before reaching the man at the counter, who donned one eye, an eye patch, and a salt-and-pepper beard that could hide a baby.
“How many rooms do you have available?” Aleth’s tone had turned dark; usually he displayed some kindness, but I seemed to have screwed that over. I tried not to care.
“Two,” the man croaked. The noise was fitting; he looked somewhat like a frog, too. But, being that there were only two rooms left, we took them both, Aleth getting one to himself, and Gabriella and I sharing the other. Both rooms were upstairs, and we gathered in mine to configure a plan. However, upon stepping inside, I could’ve sworn I was standing in a musty old attic.
“How far are you planning to follow us?” Aleth asked the redhead, his voice as hushed as he could make it. There was no telling what was listening in on us at this place. Gabriella gave a sigh that was obviously frustrated.
“If you’re heading for Davrkton, you’ll need someone to ferry you to Massingberd Forest. I’ll take care of that, but then I need to get back to my original post.”
“You won’t tell Allanis, will you?” She looked into Aleth’s eyes for a second, the ones that had returned to their usual shade of brown, and shook her head.
“I’m getting the drift that this is serious. Allanis doesn’t need to know. Your secret is safe,” she whispered. A tremendous weight had suddenly lifted from my shoulders. She really was on our side – Gabriella was really trying to help. She cared.
Maybe I needed to look at things differently, I thought. I pissed off Aleth, who was doing nothing but trying to keep me safe and happy, and I put Gabriella, who had given us a discount and walked us to Moonspine, in an awkward position in the middle of a sibling argument, which was a place that no one needed to be in. It was my fault, all of it. Because I was an idiot.
“It’s getting late,” the redhead replied. “It’s sundown, and I’m sure all sorts of bad news people will start coming in, so I’m going to stay downstairs. I’d like to know what we should be staying alert for tonight.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t that… dangerous?” She smiled one of those little knowing smiles at Aleth before donning a pair of knuckledusters from her pockets.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, winking. After nicely hiding her weapons with a pair of gloves, she disappeared downstairs. Leaving me alone with my monster, who gave me a horrible glare as he walked off into his own room.
“Rest up, Tizzy.”
That bastard! Why was I feeling so hurt? What happened to all of my anger? Shouldn’t I have been getting angry by then? I slowly slinked into an old ratty bed, sitting on the edge, burying my head in my hands. What was happening to me? I needed to fight! I needed to take back my pride! No. No, that’s what screwed me over in the first place… but I couldn’t just stay like this… I couldn’t just stay a disgraceful mess. A heavy sigh left me, and I fell back onto the mattress. What was I supposed to do?
I suddenly thought of Mariette. What would she have told me right about then? If Centa was ever going to let that girl talk to me again, that is. I finally realized just how much I had screwed things up. I shamed my family, shamed Allanis, who had always given me a second chance, I hurt the ones who had done nothing but love me… and for what? I ruined every chance of ever belonging to a family again because of some inner conflict? Because Aleth was teasing me with a little piece of myself that would make me feel complete?
I would never feel complete without a family.
Then, as I had been resting on that rickety bed, it happened. I was fine, just going through the same emotional debate that I always did, when my vision blurred. No. Good God, no, please, I thought. I wanted to cry. Double vision came next, and the room started spinning around me. The white-hot pain erupted inside of my body again, and then the shaking began. I kept asking myself, “Should I get Aleth? Should I get Aleth?” No! I would show him what I was made of! The usual agonies ensued, what with the pain in my eyes and in my gums, and then I experienced a new one. I felt like every one of my fingernails had been ripped out, and the suddenness of that pain alone was enough to make me scream.
That wasn’t all that happened, though. That night I learned what I was craving, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore; I knew what I was. The insatiable desire to have raw meat, the one that I had suppressed for so long, came back to haunt me. I wanted something fresh. And I knew what it was. God, the pain and desires together were absolutely horrible… for the second time that day, maybe third, I felt like I could die.
I had to get Aleth. I needed him. I had to admit it, because it was the only way I was going to be able to get along with myself. I hurried to the door, staggering, and wasted no time getting out into the hallway, because by then, my shaking had grown so violent, I might as well have been having a seizure.
Aleth’s room was right next to mine and Gabriella’s, so thankfully I didn’t have to go looking around, especially anywhere downstairs. I threw myself onto his door, banging my small fists and calling out his name. I was beyond feeling pathetic.
“Tizzy?” I couldn’t wait for him to let me in, and managed to turn the doorknob myself, my weight pushing the door in. I stumbled into the ground, nearing convulsions. Aleth had merely been reading a book, because he was still in his chair reading it when I made my entrance. Immediately, he bolted up and came to me.
“Tizzy!”
“Make it stop!” I was disgusted with myself, and then, as if things couldn’t have gotten any worse, I started crying. I had completely lost my composure.
“Tizzy,” he whispered, holding my head between his hands, “Tizzy, you’re strong, you’re gonna make it through this!” I grabbed onto his arms in a futile attempt to keep mine still.
“No,” I cried, sniffling, trying to shake my head in his grasp, “no, Aleth, no! If this is what I have to look forward to, trying to fight, I don’t want to! I can’t!” The frown on his face was like his whole world came crashing down. I was big sister Tizzy. I gave him hope. If I could do it, so could he. But no. I failed him. Softly, he sighed, bringing my forehead to his and closing his eyes.
“Alright.” With one arm, he held me close to control my shaking, and with the other, he started to take off his jacket and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. “Are you sure?” His voice was broken, and it made me cry more. I should’ve been looking after him! He had been burdened his entire life…
“Yes…” I was such a failure. I watched him as he took his forefinger and ran it across his incisors, but they were longer, sharper… he pricked his skin just right, and a tiny drip of what I had been dying for beaded on the tip of his index. “Blood…” The fire raged inside of me, and though there was pain inside as well, it was like nothing else mattered except getting a taste…
“Tizzy, you have to promise me something before I give you this,” Aleth said. His voice… he sounded like he was ready to cry right there with me.
“Anything,” I replied, my hands, quivering, reaching for that bleeding finger. “Anything! Please, Aleth, I can’t take it anymore!”
“Don’t let this consume you…” I nodded, not caring if I meant it or not, and grabbed his hand. It was only a meager drop, but it was so good. My craving grew so intense, I was going to bite his finger off to get more if he hadn’t have stopped me. He pulled it away when he saw that my incisors had grown like his, and then pulled down his collar to show me a scar. From a bite. Two incisors. As he said his next words, he turned away, as if he couldn’t bear to see me let him down.
“Bite right here,” he whispered. I couldn’t believe it. He was going to let me do more than I could’ve ever asked for, and I didn’t deny it. My hands gripped his shoulders, and slowly, carefully, I hovered over his neck, watching as goosebumps rose on his skin. Then, I grazed over the puncture wounds, and pierced them. He drew in a sharp breath, and I could tell he had tried to hide it. He was in pain.
I felt like a disgusting human. If I was human. I felt disgusting because Aleth’s blood was delicious, quenching my bloodthirsty tongue, and I had never felt so invigorated in my life. My senses flourished, my heart quickened, and… I felt alive. Aleth placed his hand on my back and looked up into the ceiling, and I saw a single tear slide down his face. What had I done? No one had ever cared for me like that… no one. What was I doing to him? And I couldn’t stop! The blood was instilling some life in me that I had never felt before.
“Unh…” I stopped at his moan, raising my eyes. He was white as a sheet, on the verge of losing consciousness, so I willed myself to pull away, watching as the wound on his neck healed itself.
“I’m sorry!” It didn’t help. I had weakened him so much, he fell, back against the floor, and I watched the sweat bead on his forehead, the shaking of his body with each drawn breath…
“It’s okay,” he said. “You needed it. I never should have asked so much of you, there are so few who can deny what they are…” He opened his eyes, now red, and smiled. The tears in me welded up all over again. “It’s okay. You needed it.”
“I’m weak!” I cried, clenching my fists. “I’m nothing special, Aleth! I’m weak! I failed you!”
“No. None of that is true.” I was silent, staring at him, sitting over his dwindling form and crying. “You’re still alive, so you haven’t failed me. You’ve survived the first and the second craving, and you weren’t in the best condition when doing so, so you are special, no matter what you think. But,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “now that you’ve given in, you’ll become stronger than anyone can imagine.”
He laid there on the floor, exhausted, drained of blood. I probably took more than I needed, I didn’t doubt it. Aleth couldn’t even get up to move to his bed, I had done so much harm. At least I felt comforted that I hadn’t let him down. Or so he said. But I was still nothing but a filthy bloodsucker.
I sat behind his head, using my shirt sleeve to wipe the sweat from his face, and smiling faintly as the muscles in his body relaxed. The least I could have done was offer him some hospitality like he had for me. But, as I sat there, watching over him like the big sister that I was, so many things went through my mind… he had bite wounds; I didn’t. So how had I become a… a bloodsucker? I wasn’t bitten. My body was clean of marks.
Maybe… I was misleading myself. Maybe the transformation wasn’t caused by a bite. But when had I been turned? There were so many holes in my memory, it could’ve happened on so many different occasions… then again, Aleth said we were similar. Were we turned at the same time?
Then, it occurred to me, the very reason why the family victimized him in the first place. We had all sensed it. That had to be it! We could feel it, the change he went through. Maybe that was why I had always felt so out of place, too… only I, unlike Aleth, could handle myself. I could hold my own against any number of insulting individuals, no matter who they were. Even family. Aleth… I had to protect him. I had to protect him at all costs, I realized. I may be a bitch, but I could love, too, and god dammit, I was going to! I couldn’t tell whether my newfound goal was from the blood I had drained from him, or what, but it didn’t matter. He would be—
“Help!”
A scream. Gabriella’s. My brother groaned and strained to get up, but I held him down.
“No,” I said. “You stay. You’re in no condition to fight.” His eyes locked with mine, and I could see all of the words he wanted to say swimming inside of them.
“But—”
“It’s my turn to look out for you.” And that was when I took my leave with something new coursing through my body. Gabriella’s second scream for help only further fueled my determination, and only one thing was on my mind: someone was going to be sorry they crossed paths with a Hallenar, tonight.
I came down the stairs and into the front room feeling like the most vicious person in the world. I felt untouchable, and I hoped to God that I was. Right away, my eyes set on the scene, mind racing with predictions. One giant thug was grounded, either unconscious or dead, his face a bloody pulp. Another giant thug had Gabriella pinned against the wall by her neck, and the poor girl was losing air fast; I could see it in her blue face. The third thug seemed to be waiting for the girl’s help to arrive, as he was situated at the bottom of the stairs, his fists clenched, and, like the scattered bystanders, his eyes were glaring right at me.
“Which one of you wants to play first?” The two remaining thugs laughed at my words, and it was just what I wanted. My anger soared.
“D’jyoo hea’ dat? Miz dinks she can fight wif us!” the one at the base of the stairs laughed. I wasted no time, and brought my foot up right into his chin in an amazing display of flexibility and strength that I never knew I had. The sound of his neck cracking brought a smile to my lips.
“Oh shit!” The thug holding Gabriella dropped her to the floor and immediately came my way while his fallen companion struggled to get up. Bring it on, I thought. The leader threw his fist my way, and my adrenaline pumped through me fiercely, aiding my reflexes. I narrowly dodged the punch, when suddenly, the blood I drank took its full effects on me.
My nails grew into claws, my vision sharpened, and my new fangs came back out. The true nature of what I was had finally shown itself. I tore my claws through the thug’s chest, clothes and all, the feeling of flesh deep in my nails oddly pleasing. Then, I dug them into his shoulders and hoisted myself onto his torso. He screamed; I smiled. But the final moment was about to come – I pierced his neck with my fangs, and with a shower of blood, I ripped his jugular vein, and I had to say, in a sick way it was absolutely beautiful. I bounded off of him and watched the beast fall. It was the most satisfying thing I had ever seen.
However, I had an audience. The thug that was still alive, Gabriella, and the few lone souls sticking it out in the tavern were staring with rapt attention. I glanced down to see that I was soaked in blood – it was dribbling down my chin, covered my chest, and had stained my white shirt. Dammit.
“Fo’ fukk’s sake miz, plez dun kill me! I dun wan’ no trubbl’ wif a nightwalka!”
“Shoulda thought about that before you screwed around with my friend then, huh?” The frown on the thug’s face almost made me laugh, it was so pitiful. But, I spared him the further desperation and drove my palm into his huge, flat nose, sending the cartilage into his skull. He fell, dead.
It was then that I felt the weight of the world in stares. I looked around, catching my breath, letting my nails and teeth return to normal, and everyone was just staring. Gabriella slowly rose, and then took my arm.
“Tizzy, we’d better get back upstairs…” Before anything else happened. Yeah, I understood. I followed behind her, almost smelling the scent of her fear… the heightened sense had to be the aftermath of Aleth’s blood… everything was so different. I had never killed before that night. Not even another animal.
The sudden shame bore down on me, and it was heavier than I expected.
I was a murderer.
I was filthy.
I didn’t deserve to live.
Gabriella didn’t say a word to me as we wandered the hallway, and I got the feeling like she didn’t want to. Like she never wanted to speak to me again. I was a goddamned nightwalker, after all.
She knocked lightly on my brother’s door, but instead of waiting, I moved in front of her and came in myself. He was still on the floor, but had managed to crawl over to his bed, leaning over it, no doubt trying to gather the strength to stand.
“I was on my way down,” he said, blushing. “Just give me a second, and I can take—”
“Actually… Tizzy took care of it.” Aleth gave Gabriella a strange look, and then scanned over my blood soaked form with horror, his mouth hanging open.
“What did you do?”
“Hey! If I hadn’t handled it… in the fashion that I did, Gabby here would be dead!” She winced at the nickname. “I had no choice but to get dirty, Aleth!”
“It’s true,” the redhead replied. I was a little surprised that she was standing beside me on that one. “I caused a little bit of trouble downstairs. I would’ve had my neck snapped if Tizzy didn’t act.” The seriousness in my brother’s eyes was making me nervous. I knew I had done wrong! I’m sure he knew how I felt, too.
“Are they all dead?” He looked at me with pure shame, like he expected me to return it or something. I knew I killed down there, but as long as I had saved a life, done something for the “greater good”, I would not feel bad about it.
“Someone had to act, didn’t they? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have pulled out a gun and just shot them yourself!” Aleth had no further words.
It seemed that the taste of victory was back on my side.
