Post by Lady Hammer on Sept 19, 2007 11:59:54 GMT -5
Okay, so this is a very, very old vampire story of mine, dating back at LEAST two or three years. Probably three. I was absolutely in love with it when I was writing it, and it still is probably one of my favorite stories that I've written, simply because of all the struggles I put into it. I mean there are some realistic ones that are really well thought out! And, well, a VERY forbidden love story that strangely snuck it's way in there.
Keep in mind, this is VERY OLD, and even as I was rewriting it, I couldn't make it much better. So it sounds pretty bad.
I still find it enjoyable, though! Oh, and since the first chapter is NINETEEN PAGES (
), it has three parts, lol.
Chapter 1: My sister's party
Summer was finally closing its doors and kicking us out. The hazy autumn air was tugging at those apple cider and lambent fireplace memories. Well, that was, if you weren’t an older sister of the Lady of Suradia. Then, your autumns and winters were full of expensive imported cider, and outings around a decorated fire pit with a star-studded baby sister as your hostess. Oh yes, I lived with a rich, spoiled little sister. Lady Allanis of Suradia liked to think she was the Lady of the World. Boy, I tell you, if there was a ruler of the world, she could certainly fool people into thinking she was it! Power gets to the heads of many people, and it sure didn’t neglect hers.
I would say that my little sister was an unfortunate girl who had parents who were driven into complete insanity early in her childhood, but I don’t think Allanis even realized that’s what her history contained. If I were diagnosing the problem with her, I couldn’t tell you a damn thing, but I sure knew what was wrong with our parents. Allanis and I had two other sisters, and four other brothers. With all of us constantly taking care of each other, ‘parent’ wasn’t used much in her vocabulary, but ‘family’ sure was, and ours had been expanding rapidly. As if eight siblings weren’t enough, our eldest sister was now adding her new family to the High Society Hallenar House. Her husband wasn’t part of a small family, either.
But I don’t have much time to sit and reminisce. Give Allanis a good excuse, and she’d throw a party every week. This time, the excuse was “We need a fall get-together!” Naturally, I got to work with the youngest sibling, arranging the guest list and other party what-nots, while she assembled her dress. Why she appointed Athen as her advisor and not me, I’ll never know. Maybe, knowing how her logic worked, it was “A” for Athen, and “A” for Advisor. What the hell, as long as he didn’t start talking… he was one of those people that was hard to listen to without getting annoyed.
Athen’s curious maroon eyes tried to flash a glance at me as I picked up Allanis’s guest list, unfinished, from the bar table in the Grand Hall. I ignored him, knowing the silence would soon drive him to a string of rambling, and that was a short wait. He had a quick-to-speak mind.
“Allanis is going to want you to wear a dress for this party, you know.” He covered the center table with a rust-colored table cloth, trying to act nonchalant. It was a futile attempt, which I’m sure he knew. He tugged at one of the gold corner tassels, putting on the most innocent face he could, and of course, as the baby sibling, it was working. I looked down at my attire. It was kind of a stiff and starchy number, bulky, navy blue, and buttoning down to my ankles, but otherwise it was a perfectly qualified dress. I’d sure like to know what his definition of a dress was.
“I happen to be wearing a dress,” I replied, giving him an offended glare. He glanced at me once again and chuckled.
“Tizzy, that’s not dress! It looks like you stole the sail from a ship and sewed on some buttons!” I put my hands on my hips and stared at him, my jaw beginning to drop. The boy placed a few fall leaves on the table, laughing at me with the innocent baby brother smile.
“What?” he asked. I honestly think he had no idea of what he said. Maybe standing in the shadows of an other sibling might’ve saved him, but I was always known for being “the intolerant one”.
“You’d better start sleeping with one eye open,” I warned. “Now, go light some candles. Allanis wanted them lit before the party, anyway. And start the coals for the…” I paused for a moment, cringing, “… slabs of meat.” My attention returned to the guest list, red-brown eyes scanning down the names, and before long, I found myself waiting, idling and twittering the paper between my hands, waiting for Athen to do what he was told.
“Why aren’t you moving?” I inquired, looking up from the list. He stammered and twiddled his thumbs.
“I don’t think we have any meat,” he answered reluctantly. I sighed, pursing my lips and ignoring the dread pooling up in his sweet little eyes. Yeah right.
“What happened to it?” I started, being as calm as I could allow myself.
“I-I don’t know! I don’t know what happened to it! Ask the butcher!” he cried out. I rolled my tongue around in my mouth before my temper started to show in my voice.
“Athen, we don’t have a butcher! Fifty pounds of meat didn’t just disappear!” It’s funny, because Athen is easily four, five, six inches taller than me, and most likely much stronger. Hell, one swing to my face, or any body part really, and I’d crash into the wall behind me, yet… he was terrified of me.
“I don’t know where it is!” he wailed, grabbing onto a fistful of his chestnut hair. The day wasn’t going to go over well if my temper was growing so early in the afternoon!
“Dammit, Athen, why don’t you show some competence for once? It was your job to handle the food preparations! Find the damn meat!” The guest list crumpled in my hand as I turned on my heel and stormed down the halls. A seventeen year old boy was not meant to be an advisor! Especially not Athen! If he couldn’t handle kitchen responsibilities, how is he supposed to be responsible for anything else? Allanis needed to get her head out of the clouds and stop granting jobs out of sympathy.
I approached her door and banged on it till my knuckles turned red.
“Allanis!” I was about to yell again, when the petite empress violently swung open her door. Her and I had inherited a family temper, so it seemed.
“Can I help you?” she asked, annoyed. My anger seemed to wash away with the tide as I gawked at my sister’s outfit.
“You’re a freak,” I said, knowing full well that didn’t even cover it. “Don’t tell me you’re actually going to leave the room in that!”
I was never quite sure why Allanis did what she did with her clothes. Maybe she was partially color blind? I didn’t know then, and I don’t know now. She was wearing a fluffy orange and red dress, and those colors clashed with her on all forms. The brown corset was a nice attempt, but the gold lace ruined it, as did the cloak she wore with it. It resembled a yellow curtain, or a tablecloth even, adorned with tacky tassels. Everything clashed with her faded blue eyes that were exactly opposite of the color spectrum, and the dead, crinkly leaves assembled in her bush of blonde hair did not help. I’ve tried, honestly I’ve tried to school her, but all she ever did was take one look at what I was wearing, and disregarded whatever I was saying.
“Lovely, don’cha think?” she asked, twirling around. I pursed my lips.
“No.” Her smile fell instantly. “Allanis, let me see about something decent…”
“You’re the one wearing a sail!” Allanis said, batting her eyelashes. “Don’t come to me and tell me I don’t know how to dress!” I rolled my head back and sighed.
“Have you been talking to Athen?” I asked, attempting to walk through her room. She had this affliction with the color pink, in all shades, and anyone could tell once they opened her door. Oh, and she had an affliction with lace. And furniture. And silk, satin, canopies, and other ridiculous luxuries that she didn’t need.
“How is he doing?” Allanis asked, following behind me as I searched for some presentable clothing. Where did she find such hideous dresses, anyway?
“Horrible!” I told her. “How do you expect him to get anything done? He’s clumsy as hell and loses track of everything!” Her closet was already wide open, and her revolting clothes greeted me. If colors had scents, I would’ve been gagging on my way down the hall.
“He makes mistakes like the rest of us!” she said, folding her arms. “So what?”
“I think I’m better than that. I don’t make mistakes like the rest of you.” I reached into her closet, shoving more outrageous clothes out of my way in search of one wearable item. For a moment, all we could hear were the hangers sliding along the rack, and heavy contemplation weighed down the room. I realized maybe I was being a little too pompous.
“What about Aleth?”
Aleth. That was definitely a mistake. We all made a mistake with him. And he could never forgive us for it, but I don’t blame him. He went as far as changing his family name, and I remember clearly the day he did so. No one knew until one of our sisters, Rori, snuck into his room to find him packing, like he was going to run away, and his official name documents were lying on his night table. She tore into him for that, laughing at him and telling him that he’d never get the guts to run away.
He left sundown that very day. I sighed and stole a glance at Allanis. I knew I had that one coming. I should’ve expected her to bring him up eventually with all of this talk about her party.
Aleth Beau, no matter how much he resents and denies us, will always be the sixth sibling, and he’ll always be our brother. I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does about us. There was a time, years ago, when… for some reason, we felt the need to be cruel. Goddess knows why, and she hasn’t told me yet. There was just something about Aleth that made us all victimize him. We turned on him, accused him of everything, patronized him, scrutinized him, outlawed him, and… we didn’t stop. At first, it was just taken as normal sibling banter, but it got out of control. Aleth was always a sensitive guy, and I knew from the very beginning… I knew that he was always hurt by the things we did to him.
I think the only person Aleth had ever gotten close to was his old ex-girlfriend. Akiko was a darling girl, and always smelled of roses as red as her hair. God, she was pretty, and her and Aleth were so good for each other. And then, Lazarus came along, our oldest sibling, and he had his own drama going on at the time, so sparks started to fly. It was easy to make sparks with Lazarus. And since he was the oldest, he had a large influence on us. Rhett and Rori were definitely the worst of us all, though. I don’t favor those memories, so instead of going into detail, I’ll just say that in the end, that darling redhead ended up institutionalized for some of the stuff we pulled.
Oh, but we didn’t stop there. We kept on going, and finally, Aleth snapped. He became violent, and left us. Allanis and Adeska, the oldest sister, had always stayed away from us and our constant tormenting, warning us of the damage we would eventually cause. I guess we never cared or even believed it would happen until it did. Then, we felt all the remorse in the world, Lazarus by far having the most. Aleth still never got on good terms with Allanis or Adeska, in addition to the rest of us, probably because they never bothered to step in and stop us from our tormenting. I really miss him, though.
“Aleth was a mistake for all of us,” I replied, finally. Allanis put her hands on her hips and snatched the crumpled guest list from my hand.
“If you had checked the guest list and the pigeon notes, you’d know that I invited him! This could be the first complete family get-together in what, six, seven years?” Allanis said, looking up into her ceiling, dreamily. I sighed and shook my head. He wouldn’t show up. She knew that.
“Take those dead leaves out of your hair,” I ordered, motioning to the frizzy waves on her head. “They look atrocious.”
For a moment, she fumbled around trying to untangle the crinkled leaves, biting her lips and muttering in frustration. I continued searching through her closet, thinking. Aleth wasn’t going to show up, and I know Allanis knew that. Aleth had no idea what kind of family we were now. He had no idea that Adeska was married, or that he had a niece, or… anything.
“Aleth’s not coming, so it’s no use checking for his RSVP,” I said. “What is with these colors? Chartreuse? Orange? Fuchsia?”
“Leave my colors alone! And you never know about Aleth. I’m sure he’ll show up!” I looked over my shoulder to see her cheery smile. She had to know better. “Now, if you will, let me find a gown!”
“I can’t even trust you to dress yourself, and your twenty years old!”
I definitely saved Allanis’s party from herself. Absolutely. She ended up dressed quite regally, like she should be, and despite what she thinks, she couldn’t have done it without me. I found a nice, modest dress in a shade of olive green with a gold trim. She loved the trumpet sleeves, most likely because that was the only flashy thing the dress had. But, that was all she needed. My baby sister’s personality could outshine anything, and the last thing she needed was it competing with putrid colors. I decided to let her keep on the brown corset, because it was a nice touch, and to give her the splash of autumn she wanted, we found a velvety maroon cloak tucked away in the depths of her closet. Funny, how the nicest things she managed to lose.
Speaking of nice decorations, I suppose I needed to give Athen more credit. He was a crummy advisor, but he had very nice décor skills. The entire feast room was gorgeous, exactly how Allanis wanted it. The shelves lining the walls were adorned with candles flickering lambently, and garlands of autumn leaves weaved between the candlesticks. The whole room glowed with a fall beauty, and for once, in I don’t know how long, I was comfortable. I could smell the cinnamon potpourri mingling with the cedar burning in the fireplaces, and my shoulders fell in serenity. Perhaps today would be better than I thought.
Though I had grown to detest meat, I was surprise by the mouthwatering aroma that wafted into the feasting room from the kitchen. Too bad I’m a vegetarian. Still, my eyes darted around, scanning for Athen. I had never been good with apologies, but I didn’t have a problem with learning. I made my way around a few corners before realizing I still had a job to do, and went back to the guest list that Allanis had returned. I must’ve looked like a hypocrite, ignoring my one simple task, while Athen had already redecorated the room and started cooking. My eyes perused the wrinkled paper, and I turned up my nose.
A checkmark for Miss Perfect. Well, Mrs. Perfect. Adeska was bringing along her handsome-as-hell husband and cute-as-a-button little girl, who I hadn’t seen in at least nine months. It turned out that she loved the family name so much, she kept it even after she married. In her words, she’d “always love being a Hallenar”, and it had a much better ring to it than “Adeska Jinzera”. I don’t blame her; her husband’s last name was not as attractive as he was. You might like to say it was bad like Allanis’s wardrobe.
Next on the list was Rori. Rori, Rori, Rori. She was a lunatic, only because that’s the only word that can anywhere near describe her insanity. There wasn’t a checkmark by her name yet, however, so it was off to the aviary for me. Rori never had a problem with the family name, she just had a fondness for botany, so she changed her name to “Rori Hyacinth”. She was the family failure. Even though she had a better job than most of us.
I went to the aviary, trodding up the stairs in my heavy dress. When I pushed open the iron gate, the mail birds started fluttering everywhere in shock, feathers and dust flying into the air. Birds and I did not appreciate one another.
I walked past the pigeons and owls that carried boring social news from the town square, and to a fluffy white dove. How eccentric. Not Rori’s style. How… white. That’s Rori’s style. The bird flapped and beat its wings at me as I went to pluck the note rolled up on its talon.
“Shut up and stay.” It obeyed, staring at me with empty eyes. As I unrolled the paper, I read Rori’s response to the invitation, all the dread in me overflowing.
“Great…” Rolling my eyes, I confirmed she would be arriving and jammed the letter in my pocket. Rori was bouncy and talkative, two things that a person did not need to be. Her and Rhett and the new guy’s girlfriend could talk about absolutely nothing forever.
Oh, the new guy. He was supposed to show up, too. I scanned down the guest-list again, picking up a pencil that had fallen on the floor that the birds had been picking at, and checked off Rori’s name, with reluctance. Corin, the “new guy” in Allanis’s High Society Group had a check by his name already, and unfortunately, so did his girlfriend, Nancelle. I ignored them both, seeing Rhett and Lazarus’s names next. When they had news to send, they usually sent it on this scruffy, smelly thing, resembling a bony black rat with feathers and what could be wings, but I wasn’t sure. It had these beady red eyes, and every time I saw it sitting in one of the aviary nests, I wanted to smash it underneath my boots. It gave me the creeps.
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I'd prefer no critique on the writing because I KNOW it's bad, lol, and I can already see millions of things wrong with it that I'm having trouble fixing from the original copy. I just would hate to completely rewrite it (which I'll have to do, I'm guessing). But what do you think so far? We're six out of nineteen pages in. xD
Keep in mind, this is VERY OLD, and even as I was rewriting it, I couldn't make it much better. So it sounds pretty bad.
I still find it enjoyable, though! Oh, and since the first chapter is NINETEEN PAGES (
), it has three parts, lol.Chapter 1: My sister's party
Summer was finally closing its doors and kicking us out. The hazy autumn air was tugging at those apple cider and lambent fireplace memories. Well, that was, if you weren’t an older sister of the Lady of Suradia. Then, your autumns and winters were full of expensive imported cider, and outings around a decorated fire pit with a star-studded baby sister as your hostess. Oh yes, I lived with a rich, spoiled little sister. Lady Allanis of Suradia liked to think she was the Lady of the World. Boy, I tell you, if there was a ruler of the world, she could certainly fool people into thinking she was it! Power gets to the heads of many people, and it sure didn’t neglect hers.
I would say that my little sister was an unfortunate girl who had parents who were driven into complete insanity early in her childhood, but I don’t think Allanis even realized that’s what her history contained. If I were diagnosing the problem with her, I couldn’t tell you a damn thing, but I sure knew what was wrong with our parents. Allanis and I had two other sisters, and four other brothers. With all of us constantly taking care of each other, ‘parent’ wasn’t used much in her vocabulary, but ‘family’ sure was, and ours had been expanding rapidly. As if eight siblings weren’t enough, our eldest sister was now adding her new family to the High Society Hallenar House. Her husband wasn’t part of a small family, either.
But I don’t have much time to sit and reminisce. Give Allanis a good excuse, and she’d throw a party every week. This time, the excuse was “We need a fall get-together!” Naturally, I got to work with the youngest sibling, arranging the guest list and other party what-nots, while she assembled her dress. Why she appointed Athen as her advisor and not me, I’ll never know. Maybe, knowing how her logic worked, it was “A” for Athen, and “A” for Advisor. What the hell, as long as he didn’t start talking… he was one of those people that was hard to listen to without getting annoyed.
Athen’s curious maroon eyes tried to flash a glance at me as I picked up Allanis’s guest list, unfinished, from the bar table in the Grand Hall. I ignored him, knowing the silence would soon drive him to a string of rambling, and that was a short wait. He had a quick-to-speak mind.
“Allanis is going to want you to wear a dress for this party, you know.” He covered the center table with a rust-colored table cloth, trying to act nonchalant. It was a futile attempt, which I’m sure he knew. He tugged at one of the gold corner tassels, putting on the most innocent face he could, and of course, as the baby sibling, it was working. I looked down at my attire. It was kind of a stiff and starchy number, bulky, navy blue, and buttoning down to my ankles, but otherwise it was a perfectly qualified dress. I’d sure like to know what his definition of a dress was.
“I happen to be wearing a dress,” I replied, giving him an offended glare. He glanced at me once again and chuckled.
“Tizzy, that’s not dress! It looks like you stole the sail from a ship and sewed on some buttons!” I put my hands on my hips and stared at him, my jaw beginning to drop. The boy placed a few fall leaves on the table, laughing at me with the innocent baby brother smile.
“What?” he asked. I honestly think he had no idea of what he said. Maybe standing in the shadows of an other sibling might’ve saved him, but I was always known for being “the intolerant one”.
“You’d better start sleeping with one eye open,” I warned. “Now, go light some candles. Allanis wanted them lit before the party, anyway. And start the coals for the…” I paused for a moment, cringing, “… slabs of meat.” My attention returned to the guest list, red-brown eyes scanning down the names, and before long, I found myself waiting, idling and twittering the paper between my hands, waiting for Athen to do what he was told.
“Why aren’t you moving?” I inquired, looking up from the list. He stammered and twiddled his thumbs.
“I don’t think we have any meat,” he answered reluctantly. I sighed, pursing my lips and ignoring the dread pooling up in his sweet little eyes. Yeah right.
“What happened to it?” I started, being as calm as I could allow myself.
“I-I don’t know! I don’t know what happened to it! Ask the butcher!” he cried out. I rolled my tongue around in my mouth before my temper started to show in my voice.
“Athen, we don’t have a butcher! Fifty pounds of meat didn’t just disappear!” It’s funny, because Athen is easily four, five, six inches taller than me, and most likely much stronger. Hell, one swing to my face, or any body part really, and I’d crash into the wall behind me, yet… he was terrified of me.
“I don’t know where it is!” he wailed, grabbing onto a fistful of his chestnut hair. The day wasn’t going to go over well if my temper was growing so early in the afternoon!
“Dammit, Athen, why don’t you show some competence for once? It was your job to handle the food preparations! Find the damn meat!” The guest list crumpled in my hand as I turned on my heel and stormed down the halls. A seventeen year old boy was not meant to be an advisor! Especially not Athen! If he couldn’t handle kitchen responsibilities, how is he supposed to be responsible for anything else? Allanis needed to get her head out of the clouds and stop granting jobs out of sympathy.
I approached her door and banged on it till my knuckles turned red.
“Allanis!” I was about to yell again, when the petite empress violently swung open her door. Her and I had inherited a family temper, so it seemed.
“Can I help you?” she asked, annoyed. My anger seemed to wash away with the tide as I gawked at my sister’s outfit.
“You’re a freak,” I said, knowing full well that didn’t even cover it. “Don’t tell me you’re actually going to leave the room in that!”
I was never quite sure why Allanis did what she did with her clothes. Maybe she was partially color blind? I didn’t know then, and I don’t know now. She was wearing a fluffy orange and red dress, and those colors clashed with her on all forms. The brown corset was a nice attempt, but the gold lace ruined it, as did the cloak she wore with it. It resembled a yellow curtain, or a tablecloth even, adorned with tacky tassels. Everything clashed with her faded blue eyes that were exactly opposite of the color spectrum, and the dead, crinkly leaves assembled in her bush of blonde hair did not help. I’ve tried, honestly I’ve tried to school her, but all she ever did was take one look at what I was wearing, and disregarded whatever I was saying.
“Lovely, don’cha think?” she asked, twirling around. I pursed my lips.
“No.” Her smile fell instantly. “Allanis, let me see about something decent…”
“You’re the one wearing a sail!” Allanis said, batting her eyelashes. “Don’t come to me and tell me I don’t know how to dress!” I rolled my head back and sighed.
“Have you been talking to Athen?” I asked, attempting to walk through her room. She had this affliction with the color pink, in all shades, and anyone could tell once they opened her door. Oh, and she had an affliction with lace. And furniture. And silk, satin, canopies, and other ridiculous luxuries that she didn’t need.
“How is he doing?” Allanis asked, following behind me as I searched for some presentable clothing. Where did she find such hideous dresses, anyway?
“Horrible!” I told her. “How do you expect him to get anything done? He’s clumsy as hell and loses track of everything!” Her closet was already wide open, and her revolting clothes greeted me. If colors had scents, I would’ve been gagging on my way down the hall.
“He makes mistakes like the rest of us!” she said, folding her arms. “So what?”
“I think I’m better than that. I don’t make mistakes like the rest of you.” I reached into her closet, shoving more outrageous clothes out of my way in search of one wearable item. For a moment, all we could hear were the hangers sliding along the rack, and heavy contemplation weighed down the room. I realized maybe I was being a little too pompous.
“What about Aleth?”
Aleth. That was definitely a mistake. We all made a mistake with him. And he could never forgive us for it, but I don’t blame him. He went as far as changing his family name, and I remember clearly the day he did so. No one knew until one of our sisters, Rori, snuck into his room to find him packing, like he was going to run away, and his official name documents were lying on his night table. She tore into him for that, laughing at him and telling him that he’d never get the guts to run away.
He left sundown that very day. I sighed and stole a glance at Allanis. I knew I had that one coming. I should’ve expected her to bring him up eventually with all of this talk about her party.
Aleth Beau, no matter how much he resents and denies us, will always be the sixth sibling, and he’ll always be our brother. I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does about us. There was a time, years ago, when… for some reason, we felt the need to be cruel. Goddess knows why, and she hasn’t told me yet. There was just something about Aleth that made us all victimize him. We turned on him, accused him of everything, patronized him, scrutinized him, outlawed him, and… we didn’t stop. At first, it was just taken as normal sibling banter, but it got out of control. Aleth was always a sensitive guy, and I knew from the very beginning… I knew that he was always hurt by the things we did to him.
I think the only person Aleth had ever gotten close to was his old ex-girlfriend. Akiko was a darling girl, and always smelled of roses as red as her hair. God, she was pretty, and her and Aleth were so good for each other. And then, Lazarus came along, our oldest sibling, and he had his own drama going on at the time, so sparks started to fly. It was easy to make sparks with Lazarus. And since he was the oldest, he had a large influence on us. Rhett and Rori were definitely the worst of us all, though. I don’t favor those memories, so instead of going into detail, I’ll just say that in the end, that darling redhead ended up institutionalized for some of the stuff we pulled.
Oh, but we didn’t stop there. We kept on going, and finally, Aleth snapped. He became violent, and left us. Allanis and Adeska, the oldest sister, had always stayed away from us and our constant tormenting, warning us of the damage we would eventually cause. I guess we never cared or even believed it would happen until it did. Then, we felt all the remorse in the world, Lazarus by far having the most. Aleth still never got on good terms with Allanis or Adeska, in addition to the rest of us, probably because they never bothered to step in and stop us from our tormenting. I really miss him, though.
“Aleth was a mistake for all of us,” I replied, finally. Allanis put her hands on her hips and snatched the crumpled guest list from my hand.
“If you had checked the guest list and the pigeon notes, you’d know that I invited him! This could be the first complete family get-together in what, six, seven years?” Allanis said, looking up into her ceiling, dreamily. I sighed and shook my head. He wouldn’t show up. She knew that.
“Take those dead leaves out of your hair,” I ordered, motioning to the frizzy waves on her head. “They look atrocious.”
For a moment, she fumbled around trying to untangle the crinkled leaves, biting her lips and muttering in frustration. I continued searching through her closet, thinking. Aleth wasn’t going to show up, and I know Allanis knew that. Aleth had no idea what kind of family we were now. He had no idea that Adeska was married, or that he had a niece, or… anything.
“Aleth’s not coming, so it’s no use checking for his RSVP,” I said. “What is with these colors? Chartreuse? Orange? Fuchsia?”
“Leave my colors alone! And you never know about Aleth. I’m sure he’ll show up!” I looked over my shoulder to see her cheery smile. She had to know better. “Now, if you will, let me find a gown!”
“I can’t even trust you to dress yourself, and your twenty years old!”
I definitely saved Allanis’s party from herself. Absolutely. She ended up dressed quite regally, like she should be, and despite what she thinks, she couldn’t have done it without me. I found a nice, modest dress in a shade of olive green with a gold trim. She loved the trumpet sleeves, most likely because that was the only flashy thing the dress had. But, that was all she needed. My baby sister’s personality could outshine anything, and the last thing she needed was it competing with putrid colors. I decided to let her keep on the brown corset, because it was a nice touch, and to give her the splash of autumn she wanted, we found a velvety maroon cloak tucked away in the depths of her closet. Funny, how the nicest things she managed to lose.
Speaking of nice decorations, I suppose I needed to give Athen more credit. He was a crummy advisor, but he had very nice décor skills. The entire feast room was gorgeous, exactly how Allanis wanted it. The shelves lining the walls were adorned with candles flickering lambently, and garlands of autumn leaves weaved between the candlesticks. The whole room glowed with a fall beauty, and for once, in I don’t know how long, I was comfortable. I could smell the cinnamon potpourri mingling with the cedar burning in the fireplaces, and my shoulders fell in serenity. Perhaps today would be better than I thought.
Though I had grown to detest meat, I was surprise by the mouthwatering aroma that wafted into the feasting room from the kitchen. Too bad I’m a vegetarian. Still, my eyes darted around, scanning for Athen. I had never been good with apologies, but I didn’t have a problem with learning. I made my way around a few corners before realizing I still had a job to do, and went back to the guest list that Allanis had returned. I must’ve looked like a hypocrite, ignoring my one simple task, while Athen had already redecorated the room and started cooking. My eyes perused the wrinkled paper, and I turned up my nose.
A checkmark for Miss Perfect. Well, Mrs. Perfect. Adeska was bringing along her handsome-as-hell husband and cute-as-a-button little girl, who I hadn’t seen in at least nine months. It turned out that she loved the family name so much, she kept it even after she married. In her words, she’d “always love being a Hallenar”, and it had a much better ring to it than “Adeska Jinzera”. I don’t blame her; her husband’s last name was not as attractive as he was. You might like to say it was bad like Allanis’s wardrobe.
Next on the list was Rori. Rori, Rori, Rori. She was a lunatic, only because that’s the only word that can anywhere near describe her insanity. There wasn’t a checkmark by her name yet, however, so it was off to the aviary for me. Rori never had a problem with the family name, she just had a fondness for botany, so she changed her name to “Rori Hyacinth”. She was the family failure. Even though she had a better job than most of us.
I went to the aviary, trodding up the stairs in my heavy dress. When I pushed open the iron gate, the mail birds started fluttering everywhere in shock, feathers and dust flying into the air. Birds and I did not appreciate one another.
I walked past the pigeons and owls that carried boring social news from the town square, and to a fluffy white dove. How eccentric. Not Rori’s style. How… white. That’s Rori’s style. The bird flapped and beat its wings at me as I went to pluck the note rolled up on its talon.
“Shut up and stay.” It obeyed, staring at me with empty eyes. As I unrolled the paper, I read Rori’s response to the invitation, all the dread in me overflowing.
“Great…” Rolling my eyes, I confirmed she would be arriving and jammed the letter in my pocket. Rori was bouncy and talkative, two things that a person did not need to be. Her and Rhett and the new guy’s girlfriend could talk about absolutely nothing forever.
Oh, the new guy. He was supposed to show up, too. I scanned down the guest-list again, picking up a pencil that had fallen on the floor that the birds had been picking at, and checked off Rori’s name, with reluctance. Corin, the “new guy” in Allanis’s High Society Group had a check by his name already, and unfortunately, so did his girlfriend, Nancelle. I ignored them both, seeing Rhett and Lazarus’s names next. When they had news to send, they usually sent it on this scruffy, smelly thing, resembling a bony black rat with feathers and what could be wings, but I wasn’t sure. It had these beady red eyes, and every time I saw it sitting in one of the aviary nests, I wanted to smash it underneath my boots. It gave me the creeps.
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I'd prefer no critique on the writing because I KNOW it's bad, lol, and I can already see millions of things wrong with it that I'm having trouble fixing from the original copy. I just would hate to completely rewrite it (which I'll have to do, I'm guessing). But what do you think so far? We're six out of nineteen pages in. xD
