Things That Ended Up Just Not Working

[hikairi]

I've tried writing WH a few times but then I think of something better for the story and the other edition goes PLOP. Good thing I didn't get very far on either of these two other ones, or I'd be mad.

[hikairi]

Preface

Before I knew it, I was running after the men and screaming for him. For the boy they were taking away from me right then and there. He looked up at me and flashed on last wonderfully crooked smile. It was just the kind of smile that was breaking my heart. Because there was quite the possibility that I would never see his perfect features again. I wanted to scream for his safety.
His lips formed silent words. They said
“Be safe, Hikairi.”
I couldn’t forgive myself if he was hurt. These past couple of months had been all my fault. If those men dragging him away saw me now they’d kill us both. I understood that. So I watched him dragged along in the sand. Waves lapped up against my bare ankles and saltwater stung my wounds. I was left alone beneath the full moon, a full sea stretching out before me, limitless. An island rested far out in the water. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched the island for any signs of life.
What would live on that island could make everything better.
I refused to give up just yet. If he would wait forever then I could be patient.

The Dark

I’ve always found comfort in pitch black. The sun has always made anxious. It’s rays beating down on my back, feeling so exposed, with no place to hide. I can never think clearly under a constant blinding blaze. Light is one of the few things I fear, actually fear.
But, oh, the darkness. I can hide in the dark forever and no one would ever find me. I could think endlessly, I could crack all of life’s mysteries- all under my safe blanket of black. I would never have to talk to anyone again and it would be a heaven for me. I live for the velvety black of nighttime.

Why it didn't work: I used "velvet" too much. No really lol. Plus I cut out the beach scene described in the preface, which was meant to be the climax.

[hikairi]

1 I envy you. You are whole. You can speak and be assured someone will hear. You can have memories that don’t cause pain. You can think before you act. And I’ll tell you something right now- I can’t. It was not my choice to be this way, and that’s why I envy you. Oh, and one last thing- you can have somebody to love. I had a person to love once. But that is over now because he is dead. I was whole with him and now I will never be again. It was my final chance. But that’s over.

2 And to tell you the truth, I wish it had never begun. I never told him I loved him. I never told much of my feelings to anyone. If I had, there would have been fighting.

3 It was not my choice to be this way. I do not want you to go through life without knowing the utter importance of souls, the Jakku and the Ookuri, light and darkness. I do not want you to go through life a carefree child. Because one day it will hit you harder than the hardest brick and your carefree childhood days will be done. So I’ll take the liberty of explaining it to you. Everybody, even me, is born as a whole person. Even those babies who have birth defects- they are compete people with feelings and thoughts, and most importantly a soul. Most people stay that way forever and ever, down on earth and up in heaven. They’re referred to as Jakku. Then you have those people who don’t stay like that forever and ever. People like me and my family. Their souls are eaten at, little by little, by worry, hatred, darkness, depression, other extreme dark feelings. Once most of his soul is gone, that person would become an Ookuri, the technical term for those without souls. In larger cases some Ookuri become transparent, completely deprived of any feelings at all, forever tied to a certain object or place. Those are called Kuin, other wise known as the world to ghosts. I’m not there yet. I hope to never be.
Once you are an Ookuri, it is guaranteed that your children and their children will also be. The darkness gets passed on from generation to generation. There is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. I was a descendent of not only one, but two half people. I didn’t know until a couple years ago.
The day had been a continuous party- despite the actual wedding ceremony. Girls ranging from 3-79 years came in their best dresses, makeup done up to perfection. They were asked to dance by boys in rented tuxes. Every little detail was absolutely perfect. There was snacking, dancing, talking, and possibly most important drinking. My family is extensive and a big party. I think every one of the three hundred people there had at least a small sip of champagne. Being only twelve at the time did not stop me from downing on the of complementary flutes of champagne handed out by the sharply dressed waiters. Oh, yes, I was dancing and flirting most definitely. I remember how proud I was of my dress, a dark red floor-dusting number sprinkled with sparkles. “Something straight off the red carpet,” as my best friend Kendra had commented. I was so proud of my clear skin after a two year battle with acne. My stomach was flat and my endless legs spray-tanned. Compliments had been pouring in ever since we had arrived at 6:00 p.m. The times was nearing 3:00 a.m. now. I wanted to take a few final pictures to remember the incredible night by. So I took one, two, a few more, then a couple more of the aunts and cousins. When I went to hit the “review” button I got nothing. There were nothing in these photos- all that came up on screen was the grand ballroom. I ran to my mother to inform her there was something wrong with her most prized digital camera, and that I was sorry, and that it wasn’t really my fault, I didn’t know why it was broken, and I would get her a new one because it might be my fault and sorry again. She took a quick look at all the pictures, took one long look at me, and whispered
“Oh, Hikari. We should have told you sooner.” That’s when she explained the whole Ookuri/Jakku/Kuin situation to me. Most of the night after that is a blur. I remember runnig to the nearest bathroom with Jordan, a cousin of mine, running with me. My makeup was ruined. I am simply crushes. She tries to console me the whole hour or so I was in there, saying that it gets some taking used to, but we would get through it together. We were about the same age. I was not taking any comfort in Jordan’s reassuring hugs- she knew before I had. And I would have wanted to hear that I didn’t have a soul from her more than my mother. Oh, and then I said my goodbyes without my parent’s knowing. I was out of that grand ballroom. I hoped to be out of this situation, but that would have been to good to be true. I took off my high heels and walked in the early morning dawn for about two hours until I came to the house. I remember waking up the next day to chirping birds and thanking God that the dream I had was not real. Which still makes me laugh a little.

4 I am an only child. This may not seem like a significant fact, but it is. My parents love me a lot more than they would if they had another baby to love. I try to stay up to their standards by getting good grades and choosing the right friends. I always do my best at everything. They smiles when they see the 4.0 on my report card, and then they hand over the fifty dollars I earn for getting that 4.0. My dad grins down at me and ruffles my hair while my mom showers me with compliments. “What a great child you are! What a great mathematician you are! How pretty you look today! Don’t we just love her, Patrick? We named you Hikari for a reason; you are the light of our lives!” I would smile with the teeth braces earned me and not move that smile until their speech was done. That “light of our lives thing” is always the tail end. See, my name is Japanese for Light. Neither my parents are from Japan. Nor do any of our extensive relatives come from Japan. My mother’s mother came from Germany and my dad is fifty percent Native American, fifty percent everything else. I don’t know what that makes me, but I know my skin is white and I have an odd name for an American girl. My friends make up nicknames for me because they know that I hate my name. I don’t really mind when my parents call me Hikari. Whatever keeps the parents happy is fine with me.
Now there are a few downsides to being an only child, as I am sure there are downsides to being twins or one of seventeen. Like, for one, they are overprotective. “We don’t want anything happening to our little sweetie, do we? We are keeping an eye out for you.” Explained my mom one day. Back to that wedding story. When I woke up to those birds chirping that day I thought the night before had simply been a dream. So I went to get a bowl of Cheerios, ready to laugh about my silly dream with my mom. We didn’t have any Cheerios left, so I had Pops. (Isn’t it odd how I can remember all of this so vividly?) Mom was waiting in the living room, like in those cheesy movies where the daughter comes home late from a party and the parents are waiting for her, ready to give a serious lecture. My mom really likes movies. I wonder now if maybe she was going for that feel.

Why it didn't work: There were some MAJOR plot modifications after this. Like how old she was, what she looked like, her personality... this is the old Hikairi. It wasn't that well written anyway. This is really old, like from December