creamwolfgurl
Decent Member
A moonlit plain~a flash in the shadows~Lunar is winging across the Moon
Posts: 494
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Post by creamwolfgurl on Oct 9, 2007 0:35:42 GMT -5
I learnt alot about their families in that. But, when Saralee is grabbed by Ludia, you should maybe space before the cats talk, then space again when it goes back to the mothers. Just an idea  |
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Post by burntsmoke on Oct 14, 2007 11:10:19 GMT -5
I can't believe this is your twelth chapter. It would take me about 500zillion years to get there. Go you!  Just a suggestion, try to loosen up on the speech a little. If you scroll through it, most of what you see is dialogue. Maybe you could plump it up with stuff like filler that Lady did an article on. Those articles rock xD |
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