Chapter Eleven

[burntsmoke]

Rowan and Fernlight were tiring me just a tad
Maybe you could leave write their speech properly (leaving the 'w's out) and then put something like...erm, I dunno lol:

"Midnight, why are Mommy and Daddy in that cage?” Fernlight spoke with a subconcious childish tone, her voice enlightened with a squeak.

LOL THAT WAS THE POOREST EXAMPLE EVER
I'll leave the exampling to Lady
Heh xD

Well anyway, other than that, I thought it was rather good
Keep it up

[creamwolfgurl]

Wheee! Things are getting exciting romantically wise, and action sounds like it is brewing .
I sounded like a nob just then, I know.

[burntsmoke]

lol

[cloverbud]

lol, thanks^^
and thanks for the advice, burntsmoke:D

[burntsmoke]

Oh, that's okay I just want to help make your story even better! It's certainly progressing.

[creamwolfgurl]

That's the normal way to say what I said. ^^ lolz, I'm enjoying it, but unfortunately are crap at offering adbice on how to change it.