Post by burntsmoke on Sept 10, 2007 10:58:37 GMT -5
Instead of saying this a few times:
I once lived with my family in a village up north, but it was burned down by a wildfire. Then we lived in a valley east of there, and the fox and his army showed up and attacked. They captured all of my family except for me and my brother. Me and Sid, my brother, got separated when his cats chased after us.”
(I think you did in the last chapter...)
Maybe you could write how Cloverbud tolled them the story of how she had came to be in this position.
I dunno, just a suggestion.
It's climaxing
I once lived with my family in a village up north, but it was burned down by a wildfire. Then we lived in a valley east of there, and the fox and his army showed up and attacked. They captured all of my family except for me and my brother. Me and Sid, my brother, got separated when his cats chased after us.”
(I think you did in the last chapter...)
Maybe you could write how Cloverbud tolled them the story of how she had came to be in this position.
I dunno, just a suggestion.
It's climaxing
