Jesse
Junior Member
Posts: 534
|
Post by Jesse on Sept 23, 2007 2:27:04 GMT -5
"She is my property, boy!" Spit flew from the lips of the screaming man into the face of a younger man standing in front of him, who did not so much as blink.
"I am sorry, my lord." The younger man said, though the look in his eyes said differently.
"More importantly she is the property of the state and you have taken her from their service without permission." The first man continued, ignoring the half-hearted apology. "For your trespass on my property I could have you hung. For taking an able servant and soldier from the state without their leave and for an unspecified length of time you will be flogged and thrown to the rocks."
"Yes, my lord." He said patiently, "After a fair trial of course. And in that trial they will no doubt conclude that an able male soldier is of more value than an able female soldier. Therefore we will both be flogged, after she is removed of her child of course, and we will both be marked and sent back into service."
(I have an idea to continue this, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. It just randomly came to me tonight while I was watching TV and I scratched these paragraphs out in my notebook. Stuff might be misspelled 'cause I haven't bothered running it through Word yet. Opinions and critique would be nice.)
|
|
|
Post by Kate on Sept 23, 2007 5:54:22 GMT -5
Ooo excitement! Great opening. Jumps right in- I like that. Makes me want to read more!
|
|
|
Post by The Pilot on Sept 23, 2007 9:44:07 GMT -5
Ooh! I very much like intense little pieces of writing, even if they don't go anywhere.
GJ.
|
|