Post by Lady Hammer on Sept 18, 2007 12:49:51 GMT -5
Chapter 3: Kill the Light again
No! Rufina panicked; Keller would no doubt lead the little girl straight to her. And even with one barely five minute meeting, Elspeth had already displayed more nuances of annoyance than Rufina thought possible. Quickly, she gathered herself and pushed the thoughts of Jhase away. If she was in a bad mood, she didn’t doubt that Elspeth would complain, and even though Keller would give her a break, Admiral Long hardly had comprehension of the word.
Don’t waste anymore time crying, she said to herself. Be professional! Be strong! Don’t let this get to you, because Keller is right… you’ll see Jhase eventu—
“MISS LANCE!” The whiny voice met her ears, and she couldn’t contain a cringe. She slowly turned around and put on a weak smile.
“I’m in here.”
Her eyes then met Mr. Briggs’s granddaughter, donning an obscenely pink sundress, littered with cat hair from Mack, still situated tightly in her arms. Rufina wanted so badly to shake her head and sigh. Cinah was exactly as clueless as she looked, dressing a redheaded girl in a pink dress. Not that she knew too much about color coordination herself, but…
“So, does your mother dress you?” Elspeth turned up her nose.
“No, I dress myself, thankyou very much.” Rufina took back her previous thoughts, to an extent. Cinah didn’t know how to correct her daughter’s awful mistakes. “Mack and I want to see our rooms, Miss Lance.” So commanding! If there was anything that Rufina had had enough of, it was being bossed around by someone who had no place in doing so. But, she held her tongue.
“Of course, Miss Mariole. Right this way.”
She took her time, walking down the dim corridors, feeling oddly persecuted by the lights beaming down on her. What had she done wrong? Why was she feeling guilty for not giving Jhase a proper goodbye? He was the one who should feel guilty! She felt like God was glaring at her, getting ready to point his finger and scold her like a dog. Finally, she came to the guest suites.
“The last door is for you and Mack,” she explained. Her hand then gestured to a keypad on the wall, with a large, white button. “This opens the door. When it’s white, that means no one is in. When it’s green, that means that someone is inside and it’s okay for them to come in, and when it’s red, that means you’re inside, but you want to be left alone.”
“You look like you need a red button.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not fooling anyone with your niceties,” Elspeth told her, finally setting the poor bobcat on solid ground. “Your face is all puffy. You’ve been crying.” Rufina sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to be as polite as I can, Miss Mariole.” The girl folded her arms and pursed her lips, taking a look at the keypad.
“You can call me Elspeth if I can call you Rufina,” she said. “The last thing I want is the person attending to my needs to be a weeping coward all the time.” The girl had no sense of subtlety. Fortunately, Rufina could be tolerant.
“We’ll see if that’s possible,” she replied, “Elspeth.” She held down the white button with a slender finger, and waited for an automated response.
“Voice recognition required to access room. Please state identity.”
“Chief Attendee Rufina Silene Lance.”
“Identity confirmed. Access granted.” The button turned green, and the door opened, giving way to a room much too large for the simple needs of a young girl.
“Here it is,” Rufina said. “Your voice has already been programmed to open this door, along with mine, Miss Obrahms’s, Captain Keller’s, and all of the senior and chief crewmen. Do you like the room?” Much to the woman’s delight, Elspeth was in awe, wandering in with Mack at her heels.
“This is gorgeous!” she said, smiling. “So much bigger than my room at home! And it’s got adjustable lights, a huge bed, my own washroom—”
“There’s even an ambiance fountain by your bed that you can turn on and off!” As she said this, an actual smile appeared on Rufina’s face. For once, someone was appreciating some of the things she had done. After all, she had helped design the guest suites on the Incandescence herself.
“I think Mack and I will like this room, Rufina,” Elspeth said matter-of-factly, nodding her head. She meandered to her bed and sat, Mack immediately leaping onto her lap. “Come and sit with me for a minute.”
“What?”
“Let’s talk. Please? I don’t get to talk to people very often, just my mother and grandfather.” What could it hurt? Rufina walked over, her heart pounding at the awkwardness, and sat down on the bed beside Elspeth. The blankets were cool and soft… why did the guests get such better bedding than the actual crewmen? But, the longer she sat, the more she relaxed, until a pleasant sigh escaped her.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Let’s talk about you,” Elspeth said, smiling as Rufina’s face lit up in shock. “Why are you sad?” Rufina tilted her head, trying to comprehend Elspeth’s curiosity.
“Do you really want to know?” she asked. To her dismay, the girl vigorously nodded. “I wasn’t expecting to leave tonight. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my boyfriend…”
It suddenly hit her, with more force than before. She didn’t get to say goodbye. If Jhase had gotten home to find her note, he was probably in shambles, thinking the same thing. He didn’t get to say goodbye. He would be cold and alone inside, just like her. Everything was unfinished! Her departure couldn’t be made like this!
“You’re crying again,” Elspeth suddenly said, frowning, pulling the doily from the night table. “It’s no hankie, but it’ll do.”
“Thank you, Elspeth. I’m sorry I’m such a mess… hopefully, I’ll be better when things get rolling.”
Silence took over the room save for Rufina gingerly blowing her nose, and after a few moments, Elspeth bid her farewell and returned to the hull for some sparkling juice. As much as Rufina wanted to enjoy the party, she went back to her own room. Liftoff was at midnight, and all she could do was count down the time. So what if she was feeling sorry for herself? Her thoughts raced back and forth from being angry, to being sad, to accepting her boredom, to… what was the use of thinking anyway? She wondered why it mattered… what was done was already done, and there was nothing she could do to change it come midnight.
“Rufina?” Keller’s call met her ears, and her door slid open. “Your friends are missing you down in the hull!”
“I know,” Rufina said, sniffling. “But I can’t bear to have a good time right now, Captain. I would feel too guilty… I can’t be happy! I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jhase!” Keller sat beside her on the bed, folding her hands.
“You’ve been staring at the clock, haven’t you?” Solemnly, Rufina nodded. “Rufina, if you have to put something to completion, I’ll let you go back home.”
“But it’s almost eleven!” she cried. Keller grinned.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let the pilot take off without you! Just don’t come back too late, alright?” Keller gave her the wink of one blue eye and a pat on the back. Before Rufina could question anymore, she pushed her out of the room, and all the woman saw was a hallway of opportunity, leading straight out of the Incandescence. She could see the parking lot behind all of the celebrating crewmen. Her speedster that would be sitting there for a year and would still be there when she came back…
She bolted out of the hull, not looking back, despite the calls from her “friends” begging her to join them. She ran until she was driving away, far away from the launch pad, far away from the Worlds United Office, far away… back home.
The tampered tumblers rattled with Rufina’s key, and the door squealed open. The apartment, to her shock, wasn’t dark and cold like usual. She walked down the hallway to see that every light had been turned on, and lambent flames were licking the walls of the fireplace. Jhase was sitting, still as stone, on the couch, holding her note. He must’ve still been in disbelief. She could see the muscles in his jaw clenched tightly, and his breathing was shallow.
But it wasn’t anger. He was sad. His hands held the note softly, like it would break and leave him with nothing if he clenched his fist at all.
“Jhae? Sweetie?”
At first, he didn’t look up at her. Perhaps he thought he was just hearing her voice?
“Jhae, look at me!”
She ran up to him, kneeling, and gingerly took the note from his hands, bringing his face level with hers. It took him a second, but once he saw it was really Rufina, his husky arms immediately embraced her, nearly whisking away her breath.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came back,” he said, his voice cracking and shaky. “I’m so sorry…”
“I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye! But I have to make it quick. We launch at midnight—”
That was all the incentive he needed. At once, he locked lips with her, running his hand through her hair. Rufina got the message and returned the kiss as deeply as she could, wrapping her arms around him. She wouldn’t leave without showing him just how much he meant to her…
“I’m not ready to leave, Jhase!” she whispered to him, kissing his neck. Feeling the goosebumps rise on his neck, she tenderly bit him, grazing her teeth over the tensed muscle. A very quiet gasp left him, and his hands went for the buttons on her blazer.
“I’ll make you ready,” he whispered back, nibbling down her ear, returning the sensation of goosebumps.
Within ten minutes, clothes littered the floor of the living room, and Rufina was giving Jhase every last ounce of herself. Neither of them had loosened their embrace on one another, and they were so close, Rufina could feel his heartbeat thumping against her. She’d remember the rhythm as she slept, tonight. Together, they finished, digging their fingernails into each other’s skin in one last attempt to stay close, panting and resting in their hold. Jhase, still breathless, kissed her forehead.
“That’ll hold me over until you come back.” She looked up, seeing him smile, and suddenly… everything was okay.
She was ready to go. She could do this.
“I love you.”
“I’ll never forget it, so long as you never forget I love you.”
They took a few moments to gather themselves and redress, when Jhase approached Rufina with a tiny white box, placing it in the palm of her hand. Quizzically, she stared down to it.
“Don’t open it until you can see Phira from space, okay?” he said. “It’s why I was late. I hope it makes up for my overestimation of time…” She nodded.
“Of course. Goodbye, Jhae.”
“Goodbye, Rufe.”
Two minutes to midnight, she screeched her speedster back in the parking lot of the Worlds United Launch Site, trying to smooth down her dark hair. He had sure managed to muss it up for such a short amount of time, she thought, licking her hand and pressing it to the side of her head. Little luck, but it would make due until her morning shower. She parked, seeing familiar faces that she now appreciated much more – Sigurd and Delilah were gesturing madly and calling out to her, Admiral Long was flashing her watch, and Keller merely stood beside her with a smile.
She could do this, she thought. One minute to midnight. Rufina ran up the steps of the hatch and into the Incandescence’s hull, grabbing a cup of flavored wine, and silently toasting the clock. Then, site workers crowded around outside, closing and securing the hatch. This was it, she thought.
This was it.
Thirty seconds to midnight. Rufina waited, staring at the clock. Goodbye Worlds United, goodbye Phira, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! The crew began counting down from ten. Goodbye, Phira! Nine. Goodbye inconsiderate fools that cut her off on the streets on the way to work! Eight. Goodbye soon-to-be in-laws! Seven. Goodbye slackers in class! Six. Goodbye, grumpy landlord! Five.
“Rufe, this is it!” Sigurd shouted, throwing his arm around the woman’s neck. Four. “This is it, we’re goin’ into space!” Three.
Goodbye, Jhase. Two. I’ll miss you.
“Liftoff.” She downed her wine as the hands on the clock lined up on 12.
No! Rufina panicked; Keller would no doubt lead the little girl straight to her. And even with one barely five minute meeting, Elspeth had already displayed more nuances of annoyance than Rufina thought possible. Quickly, she gathered herself and pushed the thoughts of Jhase away. If she was in a bad mood, she didn’t doubt that Elspeth would complain, and even though Keller would give her a break, Admiral Long hardly had comprehension of the word.
Don’t waste anymore time crying, she said to herself. Be professional! Be strong! Don’t let this get to you, because Keller is right… you’ll see Jhase eventu—
“MISS LANCE!” The whiny voice met her ears, and she couldn’t contain a cringe. She slowly turned around and put on a weak smile.
“I’m in here.”
Her eyes then met Mr. Briggs’s granddaughter, donning an obscenely pink sundress, littered with cat hair from Mack, still situated tightly in her arms. Rufina wanted so badly to shake her head and sigh. Cinah was exactly as clueless as she looked, dressing a redheaded girl in a pink dress. Not that she knew too much about color coordination herself, but…
“So, does your mother dress you?” Elspeth turned up her nose.
“No, I dress myself, thankyou very much.” Rufina took back her previous thoughts, to an extent. Cinah didn’t know how to correct her daughter’s awful mistakes. “Mack and I want to see our rooms, Miss Lance.” So commanding! If there was anything that Rufina had had enough of, it was being bossed around by someone who had no place in doing so. But, she held her tongue.
“Of course, Miss Mariole. Right this way.”
She took her time, walking down the dim corridors, feeling oddly persecuted by the lights beaming down on her. What had she done wrong? Why was she feeling guilty for not giving Jhase a proper goodbye? He was the one who should feel guilty! She felt like God was glaring at her, getting ready to point his finger and scold her like a dog. Finally, she came to the guest suites.
“The last door is for you and Mack,” she explained. Her hand then gestured to a keypad on the wall, with a large, white button. “This opens the door. When it’s white, that means no one is in. When it’s green, that means that someone is inside and it’s okay for them to come in, and when it’s red, that means you’re inside, but you want to be left alone.”
“You look like you need a red button.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not fooling anyone with your niceties,” Elspeth told her, finally setting the poor bobcat on solid ground. “Your face is all puffy. You’ve been crying.” Rufina sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to be as polite as I can, Miss Mariole.” The girl folded her arms and pursed her lips, taking a look at the keypad.
“You can call me Elspeth if I can call you Rufina,” she said. “The last thing I want is the person attending to my needs to be a weeping coward all the time.” The girl had no sense of subtlety. Fortunately, Rufina could be tolerant.
“We’ll see if that’s possible,” she replied, “Elspeth.” She held down the white button with a slender finger, and waited for an automated response.
“Voice recognition required to access room. Please state identity.”
“Chief Attendee Rufina Silene Lance.”
“Identity confirmed. Access granted.” The button turned green, and the door opened, giving way to a room much too large for the simple needs of a young girl.
“Here it is,” Rufina said. “Your voice has already been programmed to open this door, along with mine, Miss Obrahms’s, Captain Keller’s, and all of the senior and chief crewmen. Do you like the room?” Much to the woman’s delight, Elspeth was in awe, wandering in with Mack at her heels.
“This is gorgeous!” she said, smiling. “So much bigger than my room at home! And it’s got adjustable lights, a huge bed, my own washroom—”
“There’s even an ambiance fountain by your bed that you can turn on and off!” As she said this, an actual smile appeared on Rufina’s face. For once, someone was appreciating some of the things she had done. After all, she had helped design the guest suites on the Incandescence herself.
“I think Mack and I will like this room, Rufina,” Elspeth said matter-of-factly, nodding her head. She meandered to her bed and sat, Mack immediately leaping onto her lap. “Come and sit with me for a minute.”
“What?”
“Let’s talk. Please? I don’t get to talk to people very often, just my mother and grandfather.” What could it hurt? Rufina walked over, her heart pounding at the awkwardness, and sat down on the bed beside Elspeth. The blankets were cool and soft… why did the guests get such better bedding than the actual crewmen? But, the longer she sat, the more she relaxed, until a pleasant sigh escaped her.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Let’s talk about you,” Elspeth said, smiling as Rufina’s face lit up in shock. “Why are you sad?” Rufina tilted her head, trying to comprehend Elspeth’s curiosity.
“Do you really want to know?” she asked. To her dismay, the girl vigorously nodded. “I wasn’t expecting to leave tonight. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my boyfriend…”
It suddenly hit her, with more force than before. She didn’t get to say goodbye. If Jhase had gotten home to find her note, he was probably in shambles, thinking the same thing. He didn’t get to say goodbye. He would be cold and alone inside, just like her. Everything was unfinished! Her departure couldn’t be made like this!
“You’re crying again,” Elspeth suddenly said, frowning, pulling the doily from the night table. “It’s no hankie, but it’ll do.”
“Thank you, Elspeth. I’m sorry I’m such a mess… hopefully, I’ll be better when things get rolling.”
Silence took over the room save for Rufina gingerly blowing her nose, and after a few moments, Elspeth bid her farewell and returned to the hull for some sparkling juice. As much as Rufina wanted to enjoy the party, she went back to her own room. Liftoff was at midnight, and all she could do was count down the time. So what if she was feeling sorry for herself? Her thoughts raced back and forth from being angry, to being sad, to accepting her boredom, to… what was the use of thinking anyway? She wondered why it mattered… what was done was already done, and there was nothing she could do to change it come midnight.
“Rufina?” Keller’s call met her ears, and her door slid open. “Your friends are missing you down in the hull!”
“I know,” Rufina said, sniffling. “But I can’t bear to have a good time right now, Captain. I would feel too guilty… I can’t be happy! I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jhase!” Keller sat beside her on the bed, folding her hands.
“You’ve been staring at the clock, haven’t you?” Solemnly, Rufina nodded. “Rufina, if you have to put something to completion, I’ll let you go back home.”
“But it’s almost eleven!” she cried. Keller grinned.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let the pilot take off without you! Just don’t come back too late, alright?” Keller gave her the wink of one blue eye and a pat on the back. Before Rufina could question anymore, she pushed her out of the room, and all the woman saw was a hallway of opportunity, leading straight out of the Incandescence. She could see the parking lot behind all of the celebrating crewmen. Her speedster that would be sitting there for a year and would still be there when she came back…
She bolted out of the hull, not looking back, despite the calls from her “friends” begging her to join them. She ran until she was driving away, far away from the launch pad, far away from the Worlds United Office, far away… back home.
The tampered tumblers rattled with Rufina’s key, and the door squealed open. The apartment, to her shock, wasn’t dark and cold like usual. She walked down the hallway to see that every light had been turned on, and lambent flames were licking the walls of the fireplace. Jhase was sitting, still as stone, on the couch, holding her note. He must’ve still been in disbelief. She could see the muscles in his jaw clenched tightly, and his breathing was shallow.
But it wasn’t anger. He was sad. His hands held the note softly, like it would break and leave him with nothing if he clenched his fist at all.
“Jhae? Sweetie?”
At first, he didn’t look up at her. Perhaps he thought he was just hearing her voice?
“Jhae, look at me!”
She ran up to him, kneeling, and gingerly took the note from his hands, bringing his face level with hers. It took him a second, but once he saw it was really Rufina, his husky arms immediately embraced her, nearly whisking away her breath.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came back,” he said, his voice cracking and shaky. “I’m so sorry…”
“I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye! But I have to make it quick. We launch at midnight—”
That was all the incentive he needed. At once, he locked lips with her, running his hand through her hair. Rufina got the message and returned the kiss as deeply as she could, wrapping her arms around him. She wouldn’t leave without showing him just how much he meant to her…
“I’m not ready to leave, Jhase!” she whispered to him, kissing his neck. Feeling the goosebumps rise on his neck, she tenderly bit him, grazing her teeth over the tensed muscle. A very quiet gasp left him, and his hands went for the buttons on her blazer.
“I’ll make you ready,” he whispered back, nibbling down her ear, returning the sensation of goosebumps.
Within ten minutes, clothes littered the floor of the living room, and Rufina was giving Jhase every last ounce of herself. Neither of them had loosened their embrace on one another, and they were so close, Rufina could feel his heartbeat thumping against her. She’d remember the rhythm as she slept, tonight. Together, they finished, digging their fingernails into each other’s skin in one last attempt to stay close, panting and resting in their hold. Jhase, still breathless, kissed her forehead.
“That’ll hold me over until you come back.” She looked up, seeing him smile, and suddenly… everything was okay.
She was ready to go. She could do this.
“I love you.”
“I’ll never forget it, so long as you never forget I love you.”
They took a few moments to gather themselves and redress, when Jhase approached Rufina with a tiny white box, placing it in the palm of her hand. Quizzically, she stared down to it.
“Don’t open it until you can see Phira from space, okay?” he said. “It’s why I was late. I hope it makes up for my overestimation of time…” She nodded.
“Of course. Goodbye, Jhae.”
“Goodbye, Rufe.”
Two minutes to midnight, she screeched her speedster back in the parking lot of the Worlds United Launch Site, trying to smooth down her dark hair. He had sure managed to muss it up for such a short amount of time, she thought, licking her hand and pressing it to the side of her head. Little luck, but it would make due until her morning shower. She parked, seeing familiar faces that she now appreciated much more – Sigurd and Delilah were gesturing madly and calling out to her, Admiral Long was flashing her watch, and Keller merely stood beside her with a smile.
She could do this, she thought. One minute to midnight. Rufina ran up the steps of the hatch and into the Incandescence’s hull, grabbing a cup of flavored wine, and silently toasting the clock. Then, site workers crowded around outside, closing and securing the hatch. This was it, she thought.
This was it.
Thirty seconds to midnight. Rufina waited, staring at the clock. Goodbye Worlds United, goodbye Phira, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! The crew began counting down from ten. Goodbye, Phira! Nine. Goodbye inconsiderate fools that cut her off on the streets on the way to work! Eight. Goodbye soon-to-be in-laws! Seven. Goodbye slackers in class! Six. Goodbye, grumpy landlord! Five.
“Rufe, this is it!” Sigurd shouted, throwing his arm around the woman’s neck. Four. “This is it, we’re goin’ into space!” Three.
Goodbye, Jhase. Two. I’ll miss you.
“Liftoff.” She downed her wine as the hands on the clock lined up on 12.
