Post by Lady Hammer on Sept 14, 2007 18:24:12 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Alone to dim
A pleasant yet nagging melody that Rufina was all too familiar with for killing her slumber met her ears. Her alarm. Rolling over, she saw that like always, Jhase hadn’t stirred one bit, and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed at all. It felt like today was just another day, and it would be just another routine. Oh, how she wished, she thought, reaching over to turn the melody off.
Five AM.
She sat on the edge of the bed, wasting away about five minutes in deep thought, looking back to see the Sepoixan’s large frame take one steady breath after another. On the outside, no one could even tell he wasn’t human… he looked just like anyone else, but maybe considerably larger. On the outside, he was just like everyone else, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, thin skin… but on the inside, he was definitely something else. It was almost inconceivable, the emotions he felt.
Rufina stood, no longer wanting to dwell on their differences. Jhase was who he was, and she loved him for it. That was that. She went to her closet and picked out one of the few clean dress suits she had left; a plum purple and beige plaid tweed. The colors didn’t really suit her skin color, but why did she care anymore? Where she was going, the people most likely weren’t going to notice her poor choice in fashion…
The knobs squealed as Rufina turned them, hot water gushing out into the tub. Stepping in, she felt the temperature with her tiny feet, goosebumps crawling down her skin in the pleasant feeling before she turned the showerhead on. Her mind went almost numb underneath the spray, but she welcomed the meditative state… even though the questions penetrating her skull were painful to think about. How would Jhase survive without her, if he loved her so much? Anger wasn’t the only emotion he felt strongly… the few times his sadness couldn’t be replaced with it, he was more of a mess than she was. Rufina could only pray that he would be okay. Jhase had been known to stop eating when he was depressed enough, though…
“Come on!” she suddenly said aloud. “Stop thinking like this! You have to go on that trip!” She couldn’t waste anymore time dwelling, she thought. The more she did, the later she would arrive to her classes, and the more dissatisfied Admiral Long would be. If that was even possible.
When she finished cleaning and dressing, successfully putting a large snag in her hosiery, she leaned over Jhase’s sleeping form, a smile creeping onto her lips. He would wake up for work in two more hours, wondering like usual if she had kissed him or not before she left.
“If you didn’t sleep like such a rock, you might know!” she laughed, bending down to place a kiss on his cheek.
The smile quickly faded, however, as she stood back. She would miss this… she would miss everything. A whole year was… too long. But, they would at least have one more moment together, she thought, when her classes were over, when she snuck some time in to see him before Sigurd’s hull party that she didn’t really want to attend. Keller insisted, however.
“Goodbye. I’ll miss you…”
“Okay! So what is this answer, right here? The one about the side effects of space travel? There are three answers, but I only know two!”
“Nausea, convulsions, and death.”
“What? Death is really one of them?”
“Yeah, but we’ve been trained, so we’re obviously not gonna die when the Incandescence takes off, Delilah.”
Rufina sat in the Worlds United University mess hall, ignoring the pain in her back from the awkward table seats. Beside her, Sigurd and the other guest attendee, Delilah, were going over their studies vigorously, as like always, they had procrastinated. At least they cared enough to do it at all, Rufina thought.
“Hey!”
She had already gone over the same information last year before she was promoted, and knew all the procedures like the back of her hand… she knew about the health concerns, the side effects, strange reactions that might happen but usually didn’t, how to care for sensitivities—
“Hey! Rufe! Quit spacin’ out!” Startled, Rufina snapped her head in the redhead’s direction. “Hey, get it? Quit spacin’ out? We’re going into space today?”
“C’mon, cut it out, Del. Rufe’s sad!” Sigurd said, putting down his study guide and trying to show a smile. “Right? You’re sad?”
“Maybe a little…” she sighed, slumping down on the table, hiding her head in her hands. Delilah pursed her large lips.
“Don’t be! We’re going into space, Rufe! We’re going to meet another species that no one else on Phira has come in contact with, before! Isn’t that exciting?” she asked, shrugging. Rufina didn’t answer, but shuffled her papers around. She’d be happier if Jhase could come with her.
“And I’m having a party tonight, hello? Aren’t you at least excited about that?” Sigurd meant well, Rufina knew, but she wasn’t a party person… she hated rowdy gatherings, and if she knew the nurse like she did, that’s exactly what would be going on in the hull later tonight. A rowdy gathering of buzzed crewmates.
“And you should be happy that you aren’t a pilot or an engineer! Otherwise, we’d have so much more to study! This is enough as it is…!” the redhead went on, flipping through the packet. “What does the body mass index have to do with the tolerance of zero gravity? I thought we weren’t gonna be in zero gravity!”
“In emergencies, we go into zero gravity! Don’t you know anything?” Sigurd and Delilah continued to banter playfully back and forth, smacking each other with their packets, until Rufina finally stood up.
“Hey! Rufe, where are you going?” the redhead whined, but she got no answer, and the two watched her with mouths agape as she wandered out of the mess hall.
The rest of Rufina’s day at the University was painfully similar to the events in the mess hall. Laconic, she sat, trying to but not paying the least bit attention to even Captain Keller’s own lectures. Thankfully, though, the last of her schooling for a year would be over, but schooling was the last of her worries. In fact, she felt that she would actually miss the normality of it. Every day, waking up before dawn to head over to the WUU, meet Delilah and Sigurd in the mess hall before their first class…
She brought her mind back to reality as she arrived back at her apartment complex, driving through the parking lot to see that Jhase’s speedster wasn’t where it should be.
Did he leave? His employer didn’t let him have overtime, so he should’ve been back, Rufina thought, parking and killing the engine. She grabbed her shoulder bag and headed for the apartment. Everything still looked the same… she would leave tonight, and the world would continue as it did, unaware that she had left it completely…
She unlocked the door and hesitantly stepped in. Darkness. It was no surprise, though. Jhase liked to keep the lights off, no matter how dark it got inside. But it was cold and empty, no sign of him anywhere. His work clothes weren’t thrown on the floor beside his hamper, the shower wasn’t running like it usually was as soon as he got home, his keys weren’t on the table…
“Jhae? Sweetie?”
Her call went unanswered. It was true, he really hadn’t come back yet. She was alone. And the hull party was in two hours. That still left her with plenty of time to wait! Maybe he was held up in traffic!
She sat on the couch with a hopeful smile, hugging her knees and sighing. The smile lasted for ten minutes, and began to fade until Rufina was crying, clutching onto a couch pillow. Where had he gone? An hour passed, and there was still no sign of him. The Incandescence launch pad was at least a half an hour away. She had finished packing and everything a few days ago, but…
“Where are you?” Rufina wiped her eyes and hiccupped before stealing a glance at the clock. Time was passing fast, and if she lingered around for too much longer, she would miss the party that she didn’t want to go to in the first place. “A note! I’ll write him a note!”
Trying to waste as much time as she could, Rufina grabbed a scrap of paper lying around on Jhase’s desk and scribbled out a quick note. ‘Sweetie, I’m so sorry – I stopped by after my classes to come say goodbye, but you weren’t here! So I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you and always have you in my heart. I won’t forget you, promise! Try to keep your chin up in my absence, okay? And when you think of me, look to the yellow moon! I’ll be looking up at Phira! Love, Rufe’.
The tears were flowing as she grabbed her bags and locked up the apartment. Where was he? Was he really going to stay faithful, or was he out looking for another girl, early? No! What was she thinking? Maybe there were problems at work. Whatever the problem was, she thought, she had to forget about it and appear like she was having a good time at Sigurd’s party. The last thing Captain Keller or Admiral Long would want was for the guests to be attended to by a weepy, moping little girl. She arrived at her speedster in the parking lot, threw her bags in the seat beside her, and brought the engine to life.
Just as she expected, everyone was rowdy and buzzed, but to an extent. There was no way Admiral Long would let anyone get away with seriously being drunk, so Sigurd and Delilah were at least able to greet Rufina with coherent words when she arrived at the hull party. The hatch of the Incandescence, which had the appearance of an unattractive double-decker jet, was pulled down, the steps glittering with white star-shaped confetti, and a few starry balloons had escaped from inside and were tucked beneath the bulky wings of the ship.
“Rufe! Ya made it!” Sigurd called, poking his head outside. “C’mon Del, let’s go get Rufe!” A head of curly red hair popped out next to him, muttering something intangible, and came out with the nurse. At least they hadn’t lost motor functions, Rufina thought.
“Yes, I’m here. I wouldn’t miss your party for the world, Sigurd,” she replied, hoisting her bags over her shoulders. Thankfully, he didn’t notice a bit of the sarcasm.
“There are some really good chips inside!” Delilah said, wobbling her head back and forth. “But that’s not the point! The point is the punch, Rufe, the punch! You’ve gotta have some punch to loosen you up a little bit!”
Maybe she was right. Rufina shook her head, either way, pushing the two tipsy officers aside and entering the Incandescence’s hull, doing her best to avoid other obviously inebriated crewmen. To her relief, Captain Keller was not one of them, and was standing with Admiral Long enjoying a cup of soda and some crackers.
“… I am excited Ambrosia, and I think it’s good that everyone else is in a good mood, too…”
“… Captain, don’t you think this is a little unprofessional?”
“I would think so if there were illegal substances, Ambrosia, but as you can see,” Keller gestured to the partying crewmen before she noticed Rufina was among her. “Ah! Miss Lance! It’s nice to see that you made it!”
“Yeah I suppose…” she muttered in response, shrugging up the strap of her shoulder bag.
“You aren’t a howling drunkard like everyone else, yet,” the admiral said. “I’m surprised."
“My, my, Admiral, your tone is awful dry. Why don’t you have some water?” As upset as she was, Rufina loved Keller’s humor, and smiled a little as the admiral scowled and turned down the offering of a water bottle. “I have to say that I’m surprised you came, Rufina!”
“I honestly didn’t feel up to it,” she answered. “But you insisted.” Keller rested her delicate hand on the woman’s shoulder after taking another sip of her soda.
“Try to enjoy yourself. I don’t want you moping all the way to Hespera!”
“I think I’d rather get straight to work, if you don’t mind, Captain. It would be good for me to finish things ahead of schedule. There are a lot of things on the checklist for this trip, and I wouldn’t want Delilah to feel overwhelmed,” Rufina told her, ashamed that she couldn’t even stand to have a drink with the people she’d be tolerating for the rest of the year.
“I’m glad to see that at least one of your crewmen has their priorities in order.” Keller rolled her eyes at Admiral Long’s comment.
“Alright, Miss Lance. But please, enjoy the party while there is one!”
It was as quiet as one’s quarters could be in the midst of a party, leaving Rufina a short time to get acquainted with the room that would be hers. Peering out of her window, she could see that the sun had gone down long ago, leaving the city covered in a blanket of dark blue, with the moons out to rule. She threw her bags on her bed: a little hard, but she would get used to it. She turned on the lights: not nearly bright enough, but she would get used to it. She looked in the vanity mirror, but couldn’t say anything for her appearance. Her eyes were puffy, and it was easy to tell that she had been crying.
“Why is this happening?” she sighed, picking up the Guest Attendee Checklist. Her olive eyes scanned down it, a little overwhelmed at the needs of Mr. Briggs, his daughter, and their granddaughter. Oh, and Mack. She couldn’t forget that damned bobcat.
Suddenly, as if the devil had been listening to her, she heard the high-pitched squeal of a “hello” from wretched little girl, Elspeth. The guests had arrived for the party, it seemed.
“Good evening, Captain Keller. How is the party?” she heard Walter ask.
“Magnificent! I suggest trying some of those crackers! They’re very good! Sepoixan, I believe!”
“Someone has expensive taste!” The two laughed, Cinah joining in like she had the slightest clue. Then, Elspeth said something that she had been dreading.
“Mack and I want to see our rooms!”
A pleasant yet nagging melody that Rufina was all too familiar with for killing her slumber met her ears. Her alarm. Rolling over, she saw that like always, Jhase hadn’t stirred one bit, and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed at all. It felt like today was just another day, and it would be just another routine. Oh, how she wished, she thought, reaching over to turn the melody off.
Five AM.
She sat on the edge of the bed, wasting away about five minutes in deep thought, looking back to see the Sepoixan’s large frame take one steady breath after another. On the outside, no one could even tell he wasn’t human… he looked just like anyone else, but maybe considerably larger. On the outside, he was just like everyone else, two eyes, a nose, a mouth, thin skin… but on the inside, he was definitely something else. It was almost inconceivable, the emotions he felt.
Rufina stood, no longer wanting to dwell on their differences. Jhase was who he was, and she loved him for it. That was that. She went to her closet and picked out one of the few clean dress suits she had left; a plum purple and beige plaid tweed. The colors didn’t really suit her skin color, but why did she care anymore? Where she was going, the people most likely weren’t going to notice her poor choice in fashion…
The knobs squealed as Rufina turned them, hot water gushing out into the tub. Stepping in, she felt the temperature with her tiny feet, goosebumps crawling down her skin in the pleasant feeling before she turned the showerhead on. Her mind went almost numb underneath the spray, but she welcomed the meditative state… even though the questions penetrating her skull were painful to think about. How would Jhase survive without her, if he loved her so much? Anger wasn’t the only emotion he felt strongly… the few times his sadness couldn’t be replaced with it, he was more of a mess than she was. Rufina could only pray that he would be okay. Jhase had been known to stop eating when he was depressed enough, though…
“Come on!” she suddenly said aloud. “Stop thinking like this! You have to go on that trip!” She couldn’t waste anymore time dwelling, she thought. The more she did, the later she would arrive to her classes, and the more dissatisfied Admiral Long would be. If that was even possible.
When she finished cleaning and dressing, successfully putting a large snag in her hosiery, she leaned over Jhase’s sleeping form, a smile creeping onto her lips. He would wake up for work in two more hours, wondering like usual if she had kissed him or not before she left.
“If you didn’t sleep like such a rock, you might know!” she laughed, bending down to place a kiss on his cheek.
The smile quickly faded, however, as she stood back. She would miss this… she would miss everything. A whole year was… too long. But, they would at least have one more moment together, she thought, when her classes were over, when she snuck some time in to see him before Sigurd’s hull party that she didn’t really want to attend. Keller insisted, however.
“Goodbye. I’ll miss you…”
“Okay! So what is this answer, right here? The one about the side effects of space travel? There are three answers, but I only know two!”
“Nausea, convulsions, and death.”
“What? Death is really one of them?”
“Yeah, but we’ve been trained, so we’re obviously not gonna die when the Incandescence takes off, Delilah.”
Rufina sat in the Worlds United University mess hall, ignoring the pain in her back from the awkward table seats. Beside her, Sigurd and the other guest attendee, Delilah, were going over their studies vigorously, as like always, they had procrastinated. At least they cared enough to do it at all, Rufina thought.
“Hey!”
She had already gone over the same information last year before she was promoted, and knew all the procedures like the back of her hand… she knew about the health concerns, the side effects, strange reactions that might happen but usually didn’t, how to care for sensitivities—
“Hey! Rufe! Quit spacin’ out!” Startled, Rufina snapped her head in the redhead’s direction. “Hey, get it? Quit spacin’ out? We’re going into space today?”
“C’mon, cut it out, Del. Rufe’s sad!” Sigurd said, putting down his study guide and trying to show a smile. “Right? You’re sad?”
“Maybe a little…” she sighed, slumping down on the table, hiding her head in her hands. Delilah pursed her large lips.
“Don’t be! We’re going into space, Rufe! We’re going to meet another species that no one else on Phira has come in contact with, before! Isn’t that exciting?” she asked, shrugging. Rufina didn’t answer, but shuffled her papers around. She’d be happier if Jhase could come with her.
“And I’m having a party tonight, hello? Aren’t you at least excited about that?” Sigurd meant well, Rufina knew, but she wasn’t a party person… she hated rowdy gatherings, and if she knew the nurse like she did, that’s exactly what would be going on in the hull later tonight. A rowdy gathering of buzzed crewmates.
“And you should be happy that you aren’t a pilot or an engineer! Otherwise, we’d have so much more to study! This is enough as it is…!” the redhead went on, flipping through the packet. “What does the body mass index have to do with the tolerance of zero gravity? I thought we weren’t gonna be in zero gravity!”
“In emergencies, we go into zero gravity! Don’t you know anything?” Sigurd and Delilah continued to banter playfully back and forth, smacking each other with their packets, until Rufina finally stood up.
“Hey! Rufe, where are you going?” the redhead whined, but she got no answer, and the two watched her with mouths agape as she wandered out of the mess hall.
The rest of Rufina’s day at the University was painfully similar to the events in the mess hall. Laconic, she sat, trying to but not paying the least bit attention to even Captain Keller’s own lectures. Thankfully, though, the last of her schooling for a year would be over, but schooling was the last of her worries. In fact, she felt that she would actually miss the normality of it. Every day, waking up before dawn to head over to the WUU, meet Delilah and Sigurd in the mess hall before their first class…
She brought her mind back to reality as she arrived back at her apartment complex, driving through the parking lot to see that Jhase’s speedster wasn’t where it should be.
Did he leave? His employer didn’t let him have overtime, so he should’ve been back, Rufina thought, parking and killing the engine. She grabbed her shoulder bag and headed for the apartment. Everything still looked the same… she would leave tonight, and the world would continue as it did, unaware that she had left it completely…
She unlocked the door and hesitantly stepped in. Darkness. It was no surprise, though. Jhase liked to keep the lights off, no matter how dark it got inside. But it was cold and empty, no sign of him anywhere. His work clothes weren’t thrown on the floor beside his hamper, the shower wasn’t running like it usually was as soon as he got home, his keys weren’t on the table…
“Jhae? Sweetie?”
Her call went unanswered. It was true, he really hadn’t come back yet. She was alone. And the hull party was in two hours. That still left her with plenty of time to wait! Maybe he was held up in traffic!
She sat on the couch with a hopeful smile, hugging her knees and sighing. The smile lasted for ten minutes, and began to fade until Rufina was crying, clutching onto a couch pillow. Where had he gone? An hour passed, and there was still no sign of him. The Incandescence launch pad was at least a half an hour away. She had finished packing and everything a few days ago, but…
“Where are you?” Rufina wiped her eyes and hiccupped before stealing a glance at the clock. Time was passing fast, and if she lingered around for too much longer, she would miss the party that she didn’t want to go to in the first place. “A note! I’ll write him a note!”
Trying to waste as much time as she could, Rufina grabbed a scrap of paper lying around on Jhase’s desk and scribbled out a quick note. ‘Sweetie, I’m so sorry – I stopped by after my classes to come say goodbye, but you weren’t here! So I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you and always have you in my heart. I won’t forget you, promise! Try to keep your chin up in my absence, okay? And when you think of me, look to the yellow moon! I’ll be looking up at Phira! Love, Rufe’.
The tears were flowing as she grabbed her bags and locked up the apartment. Where was he? Was he really going to stay faithful, or was he out looking for another girl, early? No! What was she thinking? Maybe there were problems at work. Whatever the problem was, she thought, she had to forget about it and appear like she was having a good time at Sigurd’s party. The last thing Captain Keller or Admiral Long would want was for the guests to be attended to by a weepy, moping little girl. She arrived at her speedster in the parking lot, threw her bags in the seat beside her, and brought the engine to life.
Just as she expected, everyone was rowdy and buzzed, but to an extent. There was no way Admiral Long would let anyone get away with seriously being drunk, so Sigurd and Delilah were at least able to greet Rufina with coherent words when she arrived at the hull party. The hatch of the Incandescence, which had the appearance of an unattractive double-decker jet, was pulled down, the steps glittering with white star-shaped confetti, and a few starry balloons had escaped from inside and were tucked beneath the bulky wings of the ship.
“Rufe! Ya made it!” Sigurd called, poking his head outside. “C’mon Del, let’s go get Rufe!” A head of curly red hair popped out next to him, muttering something intangible, and came out with the nurse. At least they hadn’t lost motor functions, Rufina thought.
“Yes, I’m here. I wouldn’t miss your party for the world, Sigurd,” she replied, hoisting her bags over her shoulders. Thankfully, he didn’t notice a bit of the sarcasm.
“There are some really good chips inside!” Delilah said, wobbling her head back and forth. “But that’s not the point! The point is the punch, Rufe, the punch! You’ve gotta have some punch to loosen you up a little bit!”
Maybe she was right. Rufina shook her head, either way, pushing the two tipsy officers aside and entering the Incandescence’s hull, doing her best to avoid other obviously inebriated crewmen. To her relief, Captain Keller was not one of them, and was standing with Admiral Long enjoying a cup of soda and some crackers.
“… I am excited Ambrosia, and I think it’s good that everyone else is in a good mood, too…”
“… Captain, don’t you think this is a little unprofessional?”
“I would think so if there were illegal substances, Ambrosia, but as you can see,” Keller gestured to the partying crewmen before she noticed Rufina was among her. “Ah! Miss Lance! It’s nice to see that you made it!”
“Yeah I suppose…” she muttered in response, shrugging up the strap of her shoulder bag.
“You aren’t a howling drunkard like everyone else, yet,” the admiral said. “I’m surprised."
“My, my, Admiral, your tone is awful dry. Why don’t you have some water?” As upset as she was, Rufina loved Keller’s humor, and smiled a little as the admiral scowled and turned down the offering of a water bottle. “I have to say that I’m surprised you came, Rufina!”
“I honestly didn’t feel up to it,” she answered. “But you insisted.” Keller rested her delicate hand on the woman’s shoulder after taking another sip of her soda.
“Try to enjoy yourself. I don’t want you moping all the way to Hespera!”
“I think I’d rather get straight to work, if you don’t mind, Captain. It would be good for me to finish things ahead of schedule. There are a lot of things on the checklist for this trip, and I wouldn’t want Delilah to feel overwhelmed,” Rufina told her, ashamed that she couldn’t even stand to have a drink with the people she’d be tolerating for the rest of the year.
“I’m glad to see that at least one of your crewmen has their priorities in order.” Keller rolled her eyes at Admiral Long’s comment.
“Alright, Miss Lance. But please, enjoy the party while there is one!”
It was as quiet as one’s quarters could be in the midst of a party, leaving Rufina a short time to get acquainted with the room that would be hers. Peering out of her window, she could see that the sun had gone down long ago, leaving the city covered in a blanket of dark blue, with the moons out to rule. She threw her bags on her bed: a little hard, but she would get used to it. She turned on the lights: not nearly bright enough, but she would get used to it. She looked in the vanity mirror, but couldn’t say anything for her appearance. Her eyes were puffy, and it was easy to tell that she had been crying.
“Why is this happening?” she sighed, picking up the Guest Attendee Checklist. Her olive eyes scanned down it, a little overwhelmed at the needs of Mr. Briggs, his daughter, and their granddaughter. Oh, and Mack. She couldn’t forget that damned bobcat.
Suddenly, as if the devil had been listening to her, she heard the high-pitched squeal of a “hello” from wretched little girl, Elspeth. The guests had arrived for the party, it seemed.
“Good evening, Captain Keller. How is the party?” she heard Walter ask.
“Magnificent! I suggest trying some of those crackers! They’re very good! Sepoixan, I believe!”
“Someone has expensive taste!” The two laughed, Cinah joining in like she had the slightest clue. Then, Elspeth said something that she had been dreading.
“Mack and I want to see our rooms!”
I appreciate them a lot! ;D