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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 2:18:54 GMT -5
I'm starting the second part...I will post it soon. I don't really know what to do next.... 0_o
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 2:33:35 GMT -5
CHAPTER 2
She searched through her fathers old things, hoping to find whatever it was that this key unlocked, or some sort of reference to it. Nothing. Sighing, she slipped the key into her pocket, and stared out the window at the sky, wondering what her life would've been like without the accident. If it was an accident…but what else could it have been?
Victoria had nothing else to do….she climbed into bed and hid under her covers. She felt she had a weird day. The key in her pocket made her feel….uneasy. It made her stomach twirl. It felt as if she had some sort of power in her pocket, and it didn’t feel good. She didn’t like the feeling of having something but not knowing at all what it is.
Victoria was restless. With all of her mixed emotions stirring up inside of her, she didn’t know what to do. But weep, quietly under her covers. She tried to stop, but she couldn’t. Why was she weeping? What was their to keep grief over?
That is all I have so far.......
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 2:37:21 GMT -5
Oohh, me likey! I posted the next part to my story ^^
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 2:37:48 GMT -5
Ok, thanks.
OoO I have to look!
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 2:42:01 GMT -5
^^
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 2:49:15 GMT -5
It was good. What do you think I should change about my second chapter so far?
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 2:51:28 GMT -5
Victoria was tired, and had nothing else to do, so she climbed into bed and hid under her covers. She felt she had a weird day. The key in her pocket made her feel….uneasy. It made her stomach twirl. It felt as if she had some sort of power in her pocket, and it didn’t feel good. Victoria didn’t like the feeling of having something but not knowing at all what it is.
Do you like the edits?
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 2:55:52 GMT -5
Yeah, they're good. I'll add them later. Right now, I need to get more in my story.
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 2:57:44 GMT -5
alrighty ^^ I shall go work on Chapter two of mine.
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 3:01:19 GMT -5
Okay, me too. I need to get my story somewhere.
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 3:08:21 GMT -5
Here is some more:
“Vicky!!” Sounded a voice from downstairs. “Get up! It’s breakfast time.”
Victoria got up, rushing to the sound of her mother. As she passed a mirror in the hallway, she stopped and looked. There was black splotches of mascara all on her face from crying. She rubbed her hands on her face and tried to get them to go away.
“Hi mom.” Victoria said restlessly.
“Hi honey,” She replied. “What were you up to late last night?”
“U- um,” Victoria stammered. She didn’t know whether to tell her mother or not. About the key, that is. “Nothing…just going through some old stuff.”
“Oh, ok. Would you like some breakfast?”
Victoria thought about her stomach. It was still uneasy. And flipping and flopping. She had a million thoughts going through her head. Was her father’s “accident” really an accident? What did this key lead to? Why did it give her such a weird feeling…?
“Uh, that’s ok. I’m not very hungry. I’m going to go upstairs to my room.”
She was glad she was on Spring Break. That way, she could use this time to somehow…..find out about this key.
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 3:09:18 GMT -5
I like it ^^
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 3:12:11 GMT -5
Ok thanks. I think it's dull..once again.
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 3, 2007 3:14:16 GMT -5
lol, everyone is critical of their work ^^
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Post by Jordy on Apr 3, 2007 3:24:02 GMT -5
Ok I'll go look. =)
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