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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 21:14:36 GMT -5
Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 29, 2007 21:14:36 GMT -5
Dammit... so here's my dilemma: I was reading over my Scene Index, right? Yeah. *ho hum reading* And I was looking at the part when my second main character, Lanz, comes in, while listening to some very dramatic songs by Papa Roach, and I realized... His enterance isn't nearly dramatic enough. It's not... cold enough. Or anything like that. Could you guys help me out? Here's his entrance in the FIRST Black Lotus: www.fictionpress.com/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=1952155&chapter=20/I am obviously quite displeased with that because it's sucky writing, but his entrance listed on the scene index isn't too different from that. I just don't know how to make it... better. :/ Anyone have ideas?
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 22:04:24 GMT -5
Post by mysteria on Apr 29, 2007 22:04:24 GMT -5
hmmm...
you should have him come in on the back of a dragon skeleton through a giant crack in the ground.
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 22:06:06 GMT -5
Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 29, 2007 22:06:06 GMT -5
lol. xD I'll think about it. That would be... dramatic. That's for damn sure.
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 22:06:53 GMT -5
Post by mysteria on Apr 29, 2007 22:06:53 GMT -5
yeah, XD lol
Or you could have him rescue Ayslyn from some sort of danger
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 22:11:38 GMT -5
Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 29, 2007 22:11:38 GMT -5
AH HAH! You gave me a good idea! Aeslyn isn't in the area when he comes in, but he can rescue SOMEONE...
that's a really good idea...
Hrmm...
I'll take more ideas though if anyone else wants to chime in. :3
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 22:17:34 GMT -5
Post by mysteria on Apr 29, 2007 22:17:34 GMT -5
Yay! I love being able to help, after all of you guys have helped me with my story so much ^^
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HELP
Apr 29, 2007 23:10:49 GMT -5
Post by Bethany on Apr 29, 2007 23:10:49 GMT -5
I'd go for the opposite.
I say have him see someone who he could rescue, and have him just walk on.
That leaves plenty of room for character development.
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HELP
Apr 30, 2007 19:12:38 GMT -5
Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 30, 2007 19:12:38 GMT -5
OOH.
You're right. 'Cause Lanz is kind of an asshole, especially in the beginning.
Hrm...
I like that idea a WHOLE lot.
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HELP
Apr 30, 2007 19:28:31 GMT -5
Post by Bethany on Apr 30, 2007 19:28:31 GMT -5
I figure when he finally does something good later in the story, it should be significant; and if he does that in the beginning, it wouldn't.
But then again, that's me assuming that Lanz's main character development is showing a softer side and getting a desire to help out human-kind. *shrug*
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HELP
Apr 30, 2007 19:46:34 GMT -5
Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 30, 2007 19:46:34 GMT -5
Well, that is essentially the way he changes. So I guess that would help accentuate the good that happens later. Because I was disappointed at the little impact it had LAST TIME, so I want to avoid mishaps again. I'm paying more attention to character transformations.
So thankyou very much. :3 Now just to find out what needs to be helped. lol.
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