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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 9, 2007 22:47:16 GMT -5
#1: George placed his hand on the cold metal of the shiny door handle, and turned it, expecting the door to open. But it wouldn't. Stay calm He told him self, trying not to panic. But it was to no avail. He rattled the door handle, cursing, and eventually just gave up on that all together and began slamming himself against the hard wooden door. It was no use. He was trapped.
#2: Sara walked into the large chamber, ready for the urgent meeting that could change the course of her life. As she opened the door, she froze. A power radiated from the other woman, one so large that Sara found herself not able to move.
#3: "Andros?" Karol said quietly, slightly opening his bedroom door. "Get out of here! I hate my life, I really do!" He threw a book against the door, and she drew back in fright. His depression was getting the best of him, and his friends were paying the price.
like that?
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Post by Bethany on Apr 12, 2007 22:11:55 GMT -5
Heh... sorry that I kinda forgot to reply for a couple days. ^^; This is really good! It seems to me that you understand perfectly. The only comment that I would make is with number one, but it's not on the characterization... just on some of the content. If he was just opening a door that he opened any other day, he wouldn't have to think about staying calm that quickly. ...I mean, when something doesn't work in my house, I just kinda... try for a few hundred times... But anyways... I think it would be perfect if you simply took out the words 'as it did every day.' ...I see weird details like that. :/ ...But like I said. Perfect! ;D
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Post by snowkitty on Apr 12, 2007 22:33:27 GMT -5
#1: He paced back and forth, anxious. Oh, so anxious. The sweat grew on his brow as he contemplated the possibilities. Maybe the door is jammed, he thought, pacing back and forth. Oh, Lord. He was trapped! The door was closed and the lock was locked and George was trapped.
#2: She tiptoed in, unsure of what she was about to see. In the darkness of the chamber, lit only by the firelight, was the most intimidating woman Sara had ever seen - night or day, peace or war, throughout all of her fifty-six years. For once...she trembled.
#3 It was not fair! Nothing was fair! It was just...just so...
He was tired of being himself, tired of being Andros. He wanted to be a Jimmy or a Robert or a Gordon. He wanted to be someone normal, but most of all, he wanted to be one of them. The Clique.
The boy, in his state of despair, preferred the Clique over even his closest friends. And why shouldn't he?
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Post by Bethany on Apr 16, 2007 19:32:16 GMT -5
Hmm... Now, Snowkitty, saying that the character is anxious is direct characterization. The 'pacing back and forth' part does plenty to show that he is, in fact, anxious. 'He was tired of being himself' is also direct characterization, though it gets a lot closer to that line of indirect characterization. Here, I found some notes that I took in a creative writing class last year in high school, how about I add this to this little workshop here... "The things an author can use to convey characterization in an indirect fashion are: - Physical Appearance
- Actions
- Speech
and
- Reactions of Others
" From there we had to do an exercise of listing things about ourselves that fit into those catagories. So I wrote: " - Physical Appearance: Chipped nail plish, dirty shoes, faded band t-shirt
- Actions: Trips, drops pencils/pens, taps fingers a lot
- Speech Sometimes talks with a random accent, mumbles
- Reactions of others (this was a hard one for me, so I asked other people... It's easier to do for a character or someone else you know...) Cool to talk to, non-conformist
" How about you guys to that too, on yourself or whoever you want, just to practice some more.
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Post by snowkitty on Apr 16, 2007 19:38:13 GMT -5
Ah. XP This stuff is harder than I thought. I'll try the exercise, though. [/li][li] Physical Appearance: Chewed nails, black dress, barefoot. [/li][li] Actions: Swings feet, drums on the table. [/li][li] Speech: Pronounces words carefully. Laughs a lot for no reason. [/li][li] Reactions of Others: (I'll get back to you on that... )
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Jesse
Junior Member
Posts: 534
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Post by Jesse on Apr 16, 2007 19:42:37 GMT -5
Physical Appearance: Tall-ish for age, chewed nails, messy hair, constantly grouchy-looking(sometimes even when I'm not)
Actions: Bites nails, glares, taps fingers and feet, constantly has to be doing something with hands
Speech : Slurrs words, messes up pronunciation(on purpose sometimes)
Reactions of others :Uh, I'll have to answer that later
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Post by Bethany on Apr 16, 2007 20:13:50 GMT -5
Okay, okay... Now try and do that for someone else. It can be someone you make up, or someone you know. But do that, then try and make up a short little passage to convey their characteristics using the info you used in the list. I'll give what I did as an example... and let's see if Lady Hammer can guess who I was thinking of... XD - Physical Appearance: Tattoo on forearm, Short facial hair on chin, tongue ring, baggy pants
- Actions: Drives aggressively, cracks knuckles often
- Speech: Articulate, sarcastic, laughs loudly, says "goddamn" a lot
- Reactions of Others: People who get to know him usually like him, people who don't are scared.
And I wrote: "Nice job, asshole!" he yelled out the window of his SUV. "Calm down." I said, a bit timid in the shadow of his hostility. "I'll calm down when these goddamned people learn to drive." 'Goddamn' was his word-of-the-day, it seemed; he'd been saying it constantly. Seeing me clutch to the handle on the door, however, he gave a weak, sympathetic smile. "Don't worry," he said. I felt more comfortable, but an akward silence still ensued. I could hear his tongue-ring clank against his teeth as he moved it around in his mouth, and eventually, he raised his strong, bulky hand to gently turn up the stereo. "I like this song." I stated, smiling. So he cranked it up, and we continued flying down the freeway with my ears almost ready to bleed. ((Just so you know, that last part was for effect only... I always turn up my music excessively loud... It never bothers me. Lol.))
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Post by Lady Hammer on Apr 16, 2007 21:32:50 GMT -5
OMG I KNOW WHO THAT IS IT MUST BE KYLE LOLZ
xD
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Post by Bethany on Apr 19, 2007 20:17:48 GMT -5
...I think I can see Kyle growing up like that... ROFL.
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Post by madandfrozen on Apr 21, 2007 9:01:32 GMT -5
Heh... sorry that I kinda forgot to reply for a couple days. ^^; This is really good! It seems to me that you understand perfectly. The only comment that I would make is with number one, but it's not on the characterization... just on some of the content. If he was just opening a door that he opened any other day, he wouldn't have to think about staying calm that quickly. ...I mean, when something doesn't work in my house, I just kinda... try for a few hundred times... But anyways... I think it would be perfect if you simply took out the words 'as it did every day.' ...I see weird details like that. :/ ...But like I said. Perfect! ;D Thanks!
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